10,000 Jokes Thread !

[amanwadhwa]

Laloo to policeman: Yeh har taraf kiyon likha hai, gadi dhire chalao.
Policeman: Kiyon ki, Laloo Ji,yahan duur duur tak koi hospital nahi hai.

 

[amanwadhwa]

Servant: Malik, Ramu apko gadhe ke barabar bhi nahi samjhta.
Ramu: Nahi malik, yeh jhooth bol raha hai, mein to samjhta hoon ji.

 

[amanwadhwa]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] Son: Papaji bahar Swimming pool k liye chanda mang rahe he..[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]father: Koi baat nahi Beta, Ek lota paani de de.[/FONT]

 

[amanwadhwa]

son: Daddy meri dur ki nazar kharab hai SPECKS banva do.
father took him outside & said: Voh dekh kya hai?
Son: Suraj
father: Abbe ullu ke patthe, aur kitni dur tak dekhna chahta hai tu.

 

[amanwadhwa]

Lalu found answer to the most difficult question ever: What came first- the chicken or the egg?
Hum jiska order pehle dunga, vahi pehle ayega na!

 

[amanwadhwa]

Voh choom le ik bar to aati nahi neend
Unki meethi avaz mein jati hai raat beet
Iss liye kehta hu ye risk na uthao
All out lagao machar bhagao…

 

[amanwadhwa]

2 men sitting in a kabristan were talking.
One said: Yeh murde bare aram se apni kabron mein sote hain.
Sare murde uth khare hue aur bole: Kiyun na soye, yeh jaga apni jaan de ke hasil kee hai...

 

[amanwadhwa]

Ik aadmi kabar ke oopar baitha tha. Musafir ne poocha dar nahi lagta?
Aadmi: Darne ki kya baat hai, andar garmi bohot thi thori der ke liye kabar se bahar aaya hoon.

 

[amanwadhwa]

Boy to friend: Dekho voh ladki meri taraf dekh ke muskura rahi hai.
Friend: Yeh to kutch bhi nahi, jab maine pehli bar tumari shakal dekhi thi to 3 din apni hassi nahi rok paya tha.

 

[close ur eyes and make a wish]

Boy: dear look in my eyes what u see tell of honestly.
Gril: true love
BOY: O BAWKUF!!!
aIDA WADA MACHAR NAZAR NI AYA?
KAD CHETI

 

[close ur eyes and make a wish]

padh likh kar kya krana hai.
akhir ek din sabko marna hai.
$ din khushi se kaat lo dosto.
kyunki agle janam me to phir nursury se shuru karna hai.......

 

[amanwadhwa]

Q What does a kangaroo say when he finds her kid missing?
A Aaila!! kisi ne mera pocket mar liya.

 

[amanwadhwa]

Boyfriend apni girl friend ko I love you kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
GirlfFriend: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Boyfriend: I'm falling in love.

 

[amanwadhwa]

Girlfriend: Will u marry me?
Boyfriend: No, hamare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se.

 

[amanwadhwa]

Laloo and his wife Rabri were angry with each other and were not talking to each other.
Laloo left a note on Rabri's bedside table, that said: "Awake me at 5 am tomorrow."
Next morning, Laloo awoke at 8 am and saw a note on his bedside table: "It's 5 O' Clock, get up.

 

[amanwadhwa]

Annoyed Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why three?
Annoyed Husband: For you and your parents.

 

[amanwadhwa]

Sharma and Verma were searching for their lost wife in a carnival.
Sharma: How does your wife look like?
Verma: She is 5'7", 36-24-36, fair, beautiful, green sexy eyes, brown hair... And yours?
Sharma: Forget mine, let us look for yours...

 

[amanwadhwa]

Wife: (standing in front of mirror) I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. Will you still give me compliment?
Husband: Your eyesight is still excellent !

 

[amanwadhwa]

A Russian's donkey went missing. Russian was praying and thanking God.
A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; Why are thanking God?"
Russian: I am thanking Him because I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would also have been missing.

 

[amanwadhwa]

A ship was sinking.
Captain: Does any one know how to pray?
A priest comes forward and says he can pray.​

Captain: Ok priest, you pray; Everyone else in ship will wear a life jacket. We are short of one.