chutkale

PUNJABIAN NAL PANGA NAI LAINA CHAIDA
A BEARDED BENGALI AND PUNJABI GOT INTO AN ARGUEMENT OVER WHICH STATE PRODUCED MORE FREEDOM FIGHTERS, BENGAL OR PUNJAB. THEY DECIDED FOR EACH PATRIOT NAMED FROM HIS STATE HE WOULD BE ENTITLED TO PLUCK OUT A HAIR FROM THE OTHERS BEARD. THE BENGALI OPENED THE OFFENSIVE WITH "KHUDI RAM BOSE" AND TWEAKED A HAIR FROM THE PUNJABI'S BEARD. THE PUNJABII RESPONDED WITH "BHAGAT SINGH" AND PLUCKED ONE HAIR OUT OF THE BENGALIS BEARD. AND SO IT WENT ON PAINFULLY WITH THE BENGALI HAVING A ENDLESS LIST. THE PUNJABI CAME TO THE END OF HIS LIST. AND WITH GREAT FORCE SHOUTED ""JALIANWALA BAGH"" AND YANKED OF THE BENGALIS BEARD OFF HIS CHIN.
 
Re: chulkale

EK BAR ENGLAND DI RANI NE APNE FOJI BHARAT BHEGE ATE KEHA KE BHARAT DE LOG AINE BAHADUR KEO HUN MANU PATA KAR KE DASO . FOJI BHARAT GAI TE OTHE JA KE DEKHEA EH LOK SAVERE DATTAN TE HUTH WICH LOTTA LE KE JUNGLE PANI JANDE HUN. LOKA NU DATTAN KARDE VEKH FOJI NE RANI NU PHONE KITA KE EH LOG SAVERE LAKHAR (WOOD)KHANDE HUN . AND LOKA NU JUNGLE PANI TO BHAD PANI NAAL SAAF KARDE VEHK KE RANI NU PHIR PHONE KITA ... KEHA KE BHARTI LOG PANI bOTTOM TOU PINDE HUN ... HA.....HA ....RANI NE DAR KE APNE SARE FOJI BRITAN BAPAS BULA LAE. .
 
Re: chulkale

A woman comes to Ajit for suggesting a name/s for her kids .
Woman: Sir , mein apne ladke ka naam kya rakhoon?
Ajit: Iskaa naam Peter rakh do!
Woman: Mera doosra ladkaa bhi hai , jo iskaa twin hai. Mein uskaa naam kya rakhoon?
Ajit: Uskaa naam Repeter rakh do!
 

Ranger

footballer
Re: chulkale

US TIME DI GALL HAI JADH MUSALMAN TE SINGHA DI LADAI HUNDI SI,
MUSALMAN HAR LADAI HAAR JANDE SI,UHNA SOCHEYA KE RAAT NU HAMLA KARDE.
JADH RAAT NU HAMLA KARN SINGHA DE CAMP KOL GAYE TA UTHE KISE SINGH NE KACHA DHO KE SUKNA PAYA SI.
MUSALMAN DARDE DAUD GAYE KE JE KACHA IDDA VADDA HAI TA BANDA KIDDA HOYU. :mean
 
Re: chulkale

funny shairi

Hoon main doctor jahan,meri wife hai nurse wahan,Yeh kaisa julm sehna pad rha hai,mujhe apni wife ko "SISTER" kehna pad rha hai.
 
Re: chulkale

2 chuhe ja rahe c samne to Hathi aa riha c ik chuha bolea "Pa le lama ehnu bade badmash nu" duja chuha bolea chal chad yar loki aakhange do jania ne ikala kutia
 
Bholas Moms Letter

Pyaaaray Lal,
I am writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved! I won't be able to give you the address as the last person who stayed in this house took the numbers with them for their next house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works too well, last week I put in three shirts and pulled the chain and I HAVE NOT SEEN THEM SINCE.
The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
We got another bill from the funeral home. It said that if we don't make the last payment on GRANDMA'S FUNERAL, she will come up again.
Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass in the cemetary. Your sister had a baby this morning, I haven't found out whether it is a boy or a girl, so I don't know whether you are an uncle or an aunty.
Your Uncle Herolal fell into a whisky vat. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pick-up truck. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out- he rolled the window down and swam to safety. The other two friends drowned as they couldn' get the gate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love, Mom
 
A Dalit goes to the dentist and has a cavity filled. After the work, the Dalit asks how much he owes, and the dentist says, "No, no...I would never charge a poor Chandalla." The Dalit thanks him and leaves.

The next day, when the dentist gets into the office, he finds a basket full of fruits waiting for him.

Then a Muslim mullah visits the dentist and has some work done. Afterwards, he asks the dentist what he owes him, and he says, "Oh, no, of course I wouldn't charge a faithful follower of Allah!" He thanks him and leaves.

The next day, when the dentist arrives in his office, he finds a nice plate of well-cooked biriani [ a Muslim delicacy ] waiting for him.

A Brahmin visits the dentist for a checkup and a filling. When all is done, he asks the dentist what he owes him, and the dentist says, "Oh, no, I would never charge a Brahmin!" The Brahmin thanks the dentist and leaves.

The next day, when the dentist gets to his office, he finds.....four other Brahmins waiting for him!
 
Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the
security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs"
and moved on...
 
Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las
Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji could
you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...".
The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo
immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.
 
Laloos family planning policy..
"Don't have more than two children in one year"

* At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender,
"JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS,
SINGLE." The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
 
After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture.
To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of
buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for
the photo. Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper. GUESS
THE CAPTION "Laloo, third from left"
 
Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business
Development to Bihar. The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with
Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years
and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan." Laloo was
very surprised. "You Japanese are very inepicient," he stated "Give me
three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar"
 
A Brahmin goes to the countryside. Astonished to see a cow with no horns, he asks the Yadav, ` Why does this cow have no horns ?'
The Yadav replies, ` Some cows don't have horns because they never get them, others lost them in fights, and others do not get them because of some disease. This cow does not have horns because its a horse.'
 
Gyani Zail Singh went to the US & had a meeting with
Reagan. Reagan said, "I want to show you the
advancement in technology in USA. Come with me."

Reagan takes him in a deep forest and says. "Dig the
ground."

Zail Singh digs.

Reagan says, "More, more, more..."

Zail Singh has now reached a 100 feet.

Reagan says, "So now, did you find anything?"

Zail Singh, "I got a wire!"

Reagan says, "You see, it shows that even 200 years
ago we used to have telephones!"

Zail Singh was very frustrated and he invited Reagan
to India.

In India GyaniJi says, "Now I want to show you the
advancement in India!"

He takes Reagan to a forest and asks him to dig.

After some time GyaniJi says, "More. .. more... more!"


Reagan has now reached almost 400 feet.

Zail Singh says, "Find anything?"

Reagan tries but finds nothing, "Nothing here!"

GyaniJi says, "You see even 400 years ago we had gone
WIRELESS!"
 
Laloo Hamara Neta

What would be changed if Laloo Prasad
becomes India's Prime Minister:


1. National Anthem : Khana Pina Adhik Zaroorat hai...
2. National Attire : Dhoti & Kurta
3. National Drink : Fresh Buffalo Milk
4. National Animal : Buffalo, from Bihar
5. National Sport : Milking Buffalo (morning)
Buffalo Race (evening)
6. Corporate Language : Enlish-va
7. National Toy : A. K. 58
8. National Family Planning Policy : Hum Do, Humare Dozen
9. National Documentry Film : Laloo Ban Gaya Gentleman
10. National Vehicle : Buffalo Cart
11. National Recreation : Pro-creation

Laloo's Slogan:

Jab Tak Rahega Samosa Me Aloo,
Tab Tak Rahega Hamara P.M. Laloo
 
Question: An elephant was in love with a
she-elephant.
But the she-elephant went and got married to some
other elephant. So our elephant was very Depressed.
One of his friends felt sorry for him, and took him
to
a park to cheer him up. In the park, they sat on a
see-saw, but the see-saw broke. Now, which song
would
our hero sing?

Ans: "See-saw ho ya dil ho, aakhir toot jaata hai."
 
Question: Luv and Kush are going to a village and
pass
by a well. Luv falls into the well. Why?

Ans: Because Luv is blind.

Question: Now, Kush also jumps in. Why?

Ans: Because Luv ke liye saala Kush bhi karega!
 
Similar threads
Thread starter Title Forum Replies Date
-=Sukh Tiwana=- angreji chutkale Jokes 3

Similar threads

Top