A railway station beggar meets another beggar.A
software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?

"So, which platform are you working on?"
Translation from hindi to english, "Khushi ke mare uski chaati phool gayi".
Santa: Due to happiness, his chest became breast.
Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

Santa: Bhagwane suit bada sohna paya hai.
Jeeto: Thank u G
Santa: Lipstick badi sohni laayi aa.
Jeeto: Thank u G.
Santa: Shingaar v sohna kitaa aa.
Jeeto: Thank u G
Santa: Par sohni pher v nahi lagdi...
Santa ne apne nawen jamme bachche nu pakdeya per usne Santa te sussu karta.
Santa to nurse: Bibi eh piece leak karda hai badal k le aa..!

Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, apple saath laya hoon.

Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.

Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada deyo, mera vyah ho gaya hai.
Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyaan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi.

Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?
Santa: Very long...!

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
Santa: Yaar mein apni girlfriend nu gift dena hai, ki devan?
Banta: Gold ring de de.
Santa: Koi vadi cheez das yaar.
Banta: Tan fer MRF da tyre de de.

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aaya hai.

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.

An englishman and santa inside the toilet. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do? Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!

Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho?

Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai "aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12".
Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where..
Zailsingh decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand every thing except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, Rajiv came home.Rajiv: Zailsinghji How is your MBA preparation?Zail Singh: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.Rajiv: Logic is very easy.Zailsingh: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand.Rajiv: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?Zail: YES.Rajiv: Logically, there will be water in it.Zail: YES.Rajiv: Logically, there will be fish in it.Zail: YES.Rajiv: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.Zail: YES.Rajiv: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.Zail: YES.Rajiv: so, logically, your are married.Zail: YES.Rajiv: So, that means U are a heterosexual.Zailsingh was very glad and he understood logic. Next day he sees Butasingh and he was also preparing for MBA.Zail: How is your MBA preparation?Buta: Everything is fine except for the logic.Zail: Oh, logic is easy.Buta: Please, give me an example.Zail: Do you have a fish pot in your house?Buta: NO, I don't.Zail: Saala HOMO!!!


rofl rofl rofl rofl rofl.......o bai saare taan ni pad hoye par bahut vadia collection aa...baaki kall nu paduga...gud thread bai
Santa singh and Banta singh were always boasting of their parents achievements to each other. Santa singh : 'Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?' Banta singh : 'Yes, I have' Santa singh : 'Well, my father dug it.' Banta singh : 'That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead sea?' Santa singh : 'Yes, I have.' Banta singh : 'Well, my father killed it
Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh's place in a brand new red Ferrari.
Banta: Wow Santa, What a car! Where did you get it from?
Santa: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady came in this car and asked me - "want a ride Mr. Singh ?" I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr Singh. Take anything."
Banta is quite excited and asks: "What did you do Santa?"
Santa: I took the car.
Banta: good show - you wouldn't have fit into her clothes!
A punjabi, a Madrasi and a Gujarati were waiting for a bus when a dangerous-looking guy approached them. He suddenly pulled out a syringe with blood inside it and said in a menacing tone - "Give me all your valuables or I'll pierce you with this needle. This contains AIDS infected blood!"
Our friends were naturally alarmed - all except the punjabi. The Madrasi immediately gave away all his valuables. The Gujju bargained with the stranger and gave away half of his belongings. The punjabi, however, was unfazed. He refused to part with his money. In anger and frustration, the guy pricked the Punjabi with the needle and ran away.
The alarmed Madrasi and Gujju asked the punjabi " How could you do this? Now you will get AIDS surely!"
The punjabi coolly replied - " No! I won't! I am wearing a condom".
Santa and Banta were in conversation on the beach :
Santa :Praaji , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ?
Banta : Tumhe nahe pata ?
Santa : Nahe pata.
Banta : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach kahete hai .
Punjab Airlines
"Good morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your captain Banta Singh welcoming you to Punjab Airways. We apologize for the four day delay in taking off, owing to bad weather and some overtime I had put in at the bakery. This is flight one two six flight to New Delhi. Landing in Delhi is not guaranteed, but we will end up somewhere in the East. And if luck is in our favor, we may even be landing on your village! Punjab Airways has an excellent record for safety. In fact our safety standards are so high that even the terrorists are afraid to fly with us! It is with pleasure I announce that starting this year over 50% of our passengers have reached their destination. (I presume that the other 50% were the terrorists themselves!!!) For the ones that don't quite make it, Punjab Airways staff have all the requisite experience for consoling the next-of-kin. Our stewardesses Bubbly and Goldie will be happy to brief you on our out-of-court settlement policies. If our engines are too noisy for you, on passenger request, we can arrange to turn them off ! To make your free fall to earth pleasant and memorable, we serve complimentary tea and biscuits ! For our religious passengers, we are the only airline who can help you find out if there really is a God! We regret to inform you, that today's in-flight movie will not be shown as we forgot to record it from the television. But for our movie buff, we will be flying right next to Air India, where their movie will be visible from the right side of the cabin window. There is no-smoking in this airplane. Any smoke you see in the cabin is only the early warning system on the engines telling us to slow down! Life jackets are positioned under your seats and free bathing costumes are made available to the aunties and swimming shorts to the uncles, for emergency jumps! In order to catch important landmarks, we try to fly as close as possible for the best view. If, however, we go a little too close do let us know. Our enthusiastic co-pilot sometimes flies right through the landmark ! Kindly be seated, keep your seat in an upright position for take off and fasten your belt. For those of you who can't find a seat belt, kindly fasten your own belt to the arm of your seat. And for those of you who can't find a seat, do not hesitate to get in touch with a flight attendant for your suitcase. Sorry, but I won't be flying with you today because I have to attend my nephew's wedding. But please make yourself at home and help yourself to the cockpit. Thank you for choosing Punjab Airways. HAVE A NICE JOURNEY.


omg ina hasa ai janda ke jehri mari moti nind ai see o odantar hogi

very nice collection of "best of the best" jokes
vek la 22 yaar 30 tou bale chulkale like aa..........thanku kita 3 ne..........main avda poora zor la ditta...........ghainto ghaint select kite...........hun main v taan vela ni.............janta padh ke tur jandi............hor v karne c............phir sochiya ke koi thanku taan karda nai je kise nu nai lod taan mainu keda bali lod aa...........main job v karda ate phir v janta vaste vadiya cheeza labhan di kosiish karda.............ate koi ik akar thanku v nai aak sakda