5 Simple Ways to Keep Your Cool in a Conflict

1. Take a Brain Break

Take a minimum of 20 minutes to allow the emotional flooding to reside. The key here is to do something else. Don't use the break to replay the conflict conversation in your head or with an ally, as that usually just increases the heat. Go for a walk and think about your weekend plans. Do the crossword puzzle in your daily paper. Pick something that makes your brain think about anything other than the conflict situation.

2. Neutralize by Naming

Naming the behavior that's contributing to your anger can help take its power away. This is particularly true in difficult negotiations. For example, you might try, "When you said you have other consultants who would be happy to accept if we can't work out the money, it appeared you were suggesting you're ready to hire someone else instead. I'd hate for a comment made in a difficult moment to get in t3. Use Reminders


Reminding yourself of your goals can help re-stabilize you during difficult moments. Write them on an index card and bring the card with you. When you feel yourself heating up, look down at your card and remind yourself what you really want from this conversation. Keep in mind, though, that your goals shouldn't be contingent on getting the other person to do something. And they should long-term oriented: Strengthen this relationship. Improve customer service in the department. Get a better handle on my workload. Seal the deal on this car.

4. Identify the Threat

Anger can be caused by the perception that something important to you is threatened, often something related to your identity. For example, you may feel angry if you believe the other person is challenging your competence, trying to control you, exclude you, or questioning your worth. You can manage your triggers by identifying the threat and reminding yourself it's not "all or nothing." If a boss let's you know that there's a part of your job you didn't handle well, that's not the same as being incompetent. It means there's probably a lot of work you do well and a few things you don't do so well. Don't allow yourself get swept away by all or nothing thinking.
he way of what could be a great partnership here."

5. Create a Stopper
Stoppers are mechanisms for reminding yourself to stop doing something. Stoppers might include a spot on the back of your hand that you pinch to get your own attention. Or a meditation breathing technique you learned in yoga class. You get the idea. You'll need to practice using your stopper a number of times before it's truly effective, because you need to help your brain learn the connection between the stopper and the behavior you want to cease doing
 

Attachments

  • Baby.jpg
    Baby.jpg
    32.2 KB · Views: 190

singh88

Elite
better still ,

walk away
2nd time if they continue tell them to shut the fk up
3rd time if they are that thick and continue.. beat the living shit out of them boy or girl..mainly applies to girls :D
 
Top