Ridiculous SMS messages

Hello, this is Death. Please answer when you're ready.

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
Rude SMS messages

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

Why can't you accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

You have the sex appeal of a wet paper bag.

You have a one-bit brain with a parity error.

Did someone forget an important date?
Everyone has a photographic memory, you just don't have any film.

Humourous SMS messages

Sorry, I cannot make it because there is a power failure. I am stuck on the escalator.

Tonight there will be an ice cream party. All ladies giving milk please come early.

Sorry I am late, I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.

Sorry, I am having an out of money experience.

I was arrested for walking in someone else's sleep.

Funniest SMS messages

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes