Raaz Reboot movie review: When Emraan Hashmi told the hero to f**k off and the audience no

Miss Alone

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Raaz Reboot movie review: When Emraan Hashmi told the hero to f**k off and the audience nodded

Raaz Reboot movie cast: Gaurav Arora, Kriti Kharbanda, Emraan Hashmi
Raaz Reboot movie director: Vikram Bhatt
Raaz Reboot movie rating: (0.5/5)

One can imagine how Vikram Bhatt pitched the fourth instalment of the Raaz franchise, Raaz Reboot, to the Bhatts. Imagining portions of the conversation where Vikram says, "The Raaz franchise is becoming predictable, we need to reboot this franchise with two unknown faces. The money we save in hiring two newcomers, we'll invest in shooting in Romania. For the nostalgia value we have Emraan Hashmi, who will play a role he has never essayed before - a creepy, stalker-ish ex-boyfriend. We'll include some Romanian folklore, but in the end the spirit will be exorcised by praying to Vishnu bhagwaan." The Bhatts clap and agree to bankroll the movie.

Raaz Reboot is the kind of movie where the 'hero' runs for several kilometers so he can break down by a lake, and thus let the director capture the scenic beauty of Romania. It is a *subtle* way of suggesting to the audience - please like our movie, we've spent a lot of money on it. Bro, why don't you just cry in your living room, any way no one cares about you or the film.

Vikram Bhatt might as well take a break and reconsider life choices. It is a well-known fact, that he got his first success with 2002's Raaz starring Dino Morea and Bipasha Basu, after which he began being called the 'master of horror' in Bollywood. And he probably began taking the title a little too seriously. Yes, the standards are that low. Even if his biggest success was a watered-down, sanitised version of a blah Hollywood film - What lies Beneath. Does that mean he will go on making the same kind of drivel all his career? We hope not.

Raaz Reboot pushes the envelope with its story-telling as it employs the shining, new plot of a couple moving into a new house which might be possessed by a spirit. And being a Bhatt film, the spirit will haunt the woman in the house. Even if it is actually the man of the house it wants to hurt (as we later find out). Because spirits in Bhatt films are sexist. And floating, possessed women make for better cinema? Not really. The film follows the usual drill of the woman getting harassed by a spirit, and when she complains to her husband, he just laughs it off as "Chal hatt pagli! Bhoot-woot jaisi koi cheez nahi hoti".

The scares are nothing we've not seen before. An eye peeking out of the sink, creaking doors, a woman sitting in the middle of a room with too much foundation on her face and hair like you wake up with on a Sunday morning with bad hangover. Mr Bhatts (Vikram, Mukesh, Mahesh) - all this ceased to be scary back before India's Independence. Please invest some brains, if you're going to be investing money in stuff like this. Hire a competent writer, whose way of fighting spirits will not have dialogues like, "Mera bhagwaan humein bachaayega." Who's gonna save us though?

To be honest, Raaz Reboot is not a boring film. It is so unintentionally hilarious that they might as well have marketed this as India's first 'unintentionally-hilarious-horror-comedy with violins and sex'. The music of the movie is scored by Jeet Ganguly, who churns out melodies to justify his monthly paycheck from Vishesh Films. Same old Arijit Singh wailing in the recording studio and the same old melodies. The movie has some of the most OMG dialogues like - "Pagal woh nahi jise bhoot dikhta hai, pagal woh hai jise insaan nahi dikhta."

Raaz Reboot might still go on to make money, like its predecessors in the franchise. But do we as the Indian audience need to assaulted with such banal, comical horror every single time the Bhatts have some money to make a film? Nope. So if you still go ahead and spend money on a movie like this, you DESERVE more movies like these. And thou shalt not complain about the poor state of horror movies in India. Thou absolutely shalt not.