Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering
whom to invade
next when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" a heavily accented voice said,
"This is Gurmukh
from Phagwara, District Kapurthala. I am ringing to
inform you that we
are officially declaring the war on you!"
"Well, Gurmukh," Saddam replied, "This is indeed
important news!
How big is your army"
"Right now," said Gurmukh, after a moment's
calculation, "there is
myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbour
Bhagat, and the
entire kabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes
eight"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have
one million men in
my army waiting to move on my command."
"Arrey O! Main kya.. " said Gurmukh. "I'll have to
ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again.
"Mr. Hussein, it is Gurmukh, I'm call ing from
Phagwara STD, the war is
still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry
equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh" Saddam
asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's
tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have
16,000 tanks
and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've
increased my army to
1-1/2 million since we last spoke."
"Oh teri ....." said Gurmukh. "I'll have to get back
to you."
Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.
"Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to
get ourselves
airborne...... We've modified Amrik's tractor by
adding a couple of
shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's
generator. Four school pass
boys from Malpur have joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his
throat. "I must
tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and
20,000 fighter
planes.My military complex is surro unded by
laser-guided, surface-to-air
missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've
increased my army to TWO
MILLION!"
"Tera pala hove...." said Gurmuk, "I'll have to ring
you back."
Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day.
"Kiddan, Mr.
Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to
call off the
war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the
sudden change of
heart"
"Well," said Gurmukh, "we've all had a long chat over
a couple of
lassi's, and decided there's no way we can feed two
million
prisoners of wars
whom to invade
next when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Hussein!" a heavily accented voice said,
"This is Gurmukh
from Phagwara, District Kapurthala. I am ringing to
inform you that we
are officially declaring the war on you!"
"Well, Gurmukh," Saddam replied, "This is indeed
important news!
How big is your army"
"Right now," said Gurmukh, after a moment's
calculation, "there is
myself, my cousin Sukhdev, my next door neighbour
Bhagat, and the
entire kabaddi team from the gurudwara. That makes
eight"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Gurmukh that I have
one million men in
my army waiting to move on my command."
"Arrey O! Main kya.. " said Gurmukh. "I'll have to
ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Gurmukh called again.
"Mr. Hussein, it is Gurmukh, I'm call ing from
Phagwara STD, the war is
still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry
equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Gurmukh" Saddam
asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amrik's
tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Gurmukh, that I have
16,000 tanks
and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also, I've
increased my army to
1-1/2 million since we last spoke."
"Oh teri ....." said Gurmukh. "I'll have to get back
to you."
Sure enough, Gurmukh rang again the next day.
"Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to
get ourselves
airborne...... We've modified Amrik's tractor by
adding a couple of
shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind's
generator. Four school pass
boys from Malpur have joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his
throat. "I must
tell you, Gurmukh, that I have 10,000 bombers and
20,000 fighter
planes.My military complex is surro unded by
laser-guided, surface-to-air
missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've
increased my army to TWO
MILLION!"
"Tera pala hove...." said Gurmuk, "I'll have to ring
you back."
Sure enough, Gurmukh called again the next day.
"Kiddan, Mr.
Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to
call off the
war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the
sudden change of
heart"
"Well," said Gurmukh, "we've all had a long chat over
a couple of
lassi's, and decided there's no way we can feed two
million
prisoners of wars
