Miss Alone
Prime VIP
I raise up my voice not so I can shout but so that those without a voice can be heard ~~Malala Yousafzai
A younger sister of a newly-wed girl, who committed suicide, wrote a gut-wrenching letter addressing her deceased sibling.
Karnika Singh, a 27-year old Blogger, committed suicide on June 2. Karnika got married to a dentist, in January, this year. She was reportedly being harassed by her husband Himanshu Gadvi for sexual gratification and was also put through several transvaginal tests without her prior consent.
Himanshu and his father Bharat Gadvi, who is the Chief Medical and Health Officer (CMHO) in Porbandar were arrested and are charged with suicide abetment.
Karnika’s younger sister Devika Singh penned down a heart-rending letter narrating the unbearable pain suffered by her sister whom she fondly called ‘Ginja’. She also urged the women to stand against the much prevalent marital rape.
Devika wrote,
“I am writing this letter to all the women in our society in the hope that it reaches someone like my sister, Karnika, who succumbed to the mental torture and sexual pressure inflicted on her by her husband and his family.”
Here’s her letter:
Ginja..
I cant get the sight out of my mind when I saw you hanging from the ceiling fan of your apartment, and all I can now think is I wish I had given you more strength and courage to fight the evils did on you by those beasts. I wish I could read you through every time you said that you’re strong and figure out that you were actually completely broken inside. I wish I could have understood the extent of your misery and had firmly talked you out of the marriage sooner than the end. How do I believe that this is the way you chose to end your misery? Why didn’t you think about me? Who will now give me advice on every single step of my life? Why did you leave behind so many unanswered questions?
It is incredible how girls in our society agree to do anything and adjust with whatever they have to satisfy their husband and in-laws and so did you There is a big flaw in this society’s mindset that post-marital adjustments have to be uni-directional and I am shocked that an educated family of ‘doctors’ can behave in such a horrid manner. I cant imagine how you felt when your in-laws constantly asked you to keep Himanshu happy, where happiness meant sex and I know how hard you had been trying to keep him satisfied.
Non-consensual sex is rape, and every woman has a right to fight it. Why didn’t you protest when your rights were so openly violated all the time. To the extent that you were made to undergo that extremely painful procedure in the name of a normal sonography. What were they trying to establish?
I can’t recall the last time you wilfully hurt another person, even with a word or a gesture. But what I will continue to recall for ages to come, what I fear would be my lasting memory of you, is the time mummy and I released your limp body, loosening the noose around your neck in the belief that you were still alive. You’re survived by me, Kuber and our parents, to whom you’ve given the greatest memories in your unfairly brief life. I fear that the one that’ll haunt me forever is the one where I last saw you. It’s a pain that no sister, mother or loved one must ever endure and for this reason alone I hope that your death can bring an end to this cycle where kind, sensitive and gentle people are persecuted at the hands of mentally ill individuals who seek to claim ownership of the one’s they have married.
I wish to reach out to all the women to have the strength to face boldly what you could not. I could not free you from the horror that you were going through, but I cant let anyone else go through such pain ever again. I want every woman to face the society and resist any wrongs that they are faced with by their in-laws.
Every bit of my cupboard, my room, my home, and my mind are full of your memories and even though I cant promise as to how will I or our family continue our lives, I promise you that the people who treated you as their property and who killed you from within will suffer for the rest of their lives.
Love forever,
Mithu
Unfortunately, our society has been consumed by the notion of the sacredness of marriage, and for generations, have believed wife to be the weaker and dependent sex. So, most often than not the ‘stronger’ men assume it as their right to abuse their wives.
Moreover, in a society like India where girls are under constant pressure to maintain the family’s shame and honor, they don’t come out and raise their voice against it.
The question is: How many women will have to give up their dreams or lives to maintain the ‘sanctity’ of a baseless marriage?
It’s high time we understand the heinousness of marital rape that not only tortures the victim physically but also steal their mental and emotional peace.
JWB salutes the spirit of Devika Singh who shared her personal loss with the world so she could save other women.
