How to be a good friend to your friend

Miss Alone

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Offer help
You may be clueless as to how to help them and what to do when they break down randomly, but don't be afraid of asking them what they need. Even if you don't think there's anything you could do, inquiring counts.

Check on her regularly
But being by their side doesn't mean hounding them 24/7. Give them space but don't disappear. Make sure you check in. Even if they don't get back to you right away or at all, know that they did receive your message and when they do come around, they'll be thankful for it.

Be a patient listener
Instead of giving a pep talk, lend them an ear and let them vent. Often times, people just need to talk their issues out. They know what they need to do and having another person tell them will annoy them further.

Don't compare
Try not to compare their situation with something you have gone through as they might not take it in the right spirit. Be understanding of their circumstance and relate to it, but don't compare.

Don't be a problem solver
And certainly don't try to solve their problem for them. Stepping in too quickly to try to fix a problem sends the message that you don't have confidence that your friend is capable of handling the situation. More often than not, this can invoke a feeling of powerlessness on your friend's behalf because they may feel you are trying to take over.

Cook for her
Even if you have awful culinary skills, a homemade dish is a sign of comfort no matter what the friend is going through. Cooking for the morose friend shows you went out of your way and that you care. The effort will be greatly appreciated.

Rub your positivity onto her
One of the best ways to help a buddy in need is to maintain a positive, cheerful attitude. Many feel that they need to turn as sad, angry or frustrated as their friend does in order to show that they understand how they are feeling. Actually, the opposite is true. Two people feeling down and out have a more difficult time working their way out of a sticky situation than if one is down and the other maintains a positive attitude. The choice to stay positive makes the most challenging situations easier to cope with.

Give her distractions
You can be the one to take her to a play or involve her in some project you're working on. By offering her positive distractions, you are not only helping your friend out of the rut, you are strengthening your friendship at a time when she feels a great sense of vulnerability. Engaging a friend in an activity that is distracting helps in allowing her some time to disengage a bit from a difficult time and engage in something that's productive and enjoyable.

Make her rally
By giving them a gentle push in a positive direction you are showing them that you believe in their ability to move through this difficult time. If enough time has passed and they are still wallowing, try giving them a gentle push. By all means,wallowing is part of the process when life hands you a tough deal. However, don't allow your friend to sink like a ship.

Give her a hug
Don't underestimate the power of a cuddle. We are so distracted these days with texting, and BBMing that we often forget how much we crave physical contact. Sometimes, words are not necessary when your friend is going through a tough time, and simply pulling her in for a hug can make her feel safe, calm, understood and contained.