GenX routing for arranged marriage


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KANPUR: The younger generation is turning to their parents for marriage advice and match-making, shaken by divorces and unsuccessful relationships. The trend is now developing for arranged marriages going by the matrimonial experts. The youngsters inform their parents about their desire and give them the liberty to choose their match.

Jyoti Gandhi, who is into match-making business for past 10 years, witnessed the trend of settling for arranged marriages. Accounting for the reason for `arranged marriage' as a popular practice, Gandhi told TOI, "the chances of leaving ones spouse are slimmer in an arranged marriage unless circumstances are too critical. It is this concept of living with someone new and learning to love them unconditionally looking beyond appearance and weaknesses, which develops into a lifelong bond. Such marriages also ensure parental support."

Sarika Sahani, a 55-year-old housewife, who recently got free from her son's marriage (which was an arranged one) and also on a groom hunt for her 23-year-old daughter believes that an important objective behind an arranged marriage is to have one's child married within the same caste and inside a known family. "A good spouse would guarantee a good future for the child thus securing the lineage and maintaining the tradition," added she.

Contrary to the earlier times, where arranged marriages were a very private serious alliance between the prospective bride and grooms parents barring even the consent of the would-be spouses, arranged marriages today are becoming more accommodating and sensitive to the feelings and opinions of the youth, feels Ajay Gandhi, a match maker who himself has seen enormous increase in the enquiries from boys and girls' parents for the arranged marriage in past one year.

Agreed with Gandhi, Preeti Jaiswal, Centre Head of Shaadi Point at Birhana Road claims, "the term `arranged marriage' means much more than parental approval. Nowadays children are allowed to participate in the decision of choosing their partners. If the marriage is agreed upon, they are allowed to court."

It is common scene that, most youngsters engage in courtship while others continue to give their parents the responsibility of choosing their life partner for them and involve them in making their marriage decisions. Their joint decisions, though at times heavily influenced by parents will culminate in an arranged marriage.

According to 25-year-old Monika Chugh, a centre coordinator in a coaching institute, "a lot of youth, who understand their parent's sensitiveness towards caste and culture differences, date partners they feel their parents would approve of. Such self-arranged relationships result in a marital union based on both love and parental approval resulting in love-cum-arranged marriages." In the same breath, she continues, due to their changed definition and success, arranged marriages have a renewed hope.

In addition, online match-making systems are gaining momentum of finding mates, says Preeti. The system involves putting all your preferences and requirements on websites for which you receive compatible matches, very much like an arranged marriage.