Beer Quotes


[FONT=Arial,Verdana,Helvetica] You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
* Frank Zappa

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
* Ernest Hemmingway

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
* Winston Churchill

He was a wise man who invented beer.
* Plato

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
* Catherine Zandonella

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
* W.C. Fields

Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.
* Lady Astor to Winston Churchill

Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
* His reply

If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
* David Daye

Work is the curse of the drinking class.
* Oscar Wilde

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
* Henny Youngman

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
* Benjamin Franklin

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
* Deep Thought, Jack Handy

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
* Dave Barry

The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.
* Humphrey Bogart

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
* David Moulton

People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
* Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.
* Kaiser Wilhelm

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
* Homer Simpson

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
* Dave Barry

I drink to make other people interesting.
* George Jean Nathan

They who drink beer will think beer.
* Washington Irving

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
* For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
* Dean Martin

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
* Homer Simpson