Beautiful article by a Bengali Hindu bibi‏

SHauKeeN GaBRu

Chardi Kala
The importance of Kaur

Jayati Chakraborty, 01 March 2008, Saturday

Have you ever thought why Guru Ji, Guru Gobind Singh, gave the Kaur surname to Sikh women? Why did he not accept the status quo and keep the tradition of the woman's surname being determined by her family's name?

WHAT WAS Guru Ji trying to achieve by calling the Sikh woman 'a princess' (literal meaning of Kaur)?

To try to understand the possible reasons behind Guru Ji's decision, we need to look at the situation at the time in different cultures. In Indian society, the brides first and last name was often changed after her marriage. This still happens today. However, this tradition of name changing does not occur just in India. It is a phenomenon, which occurs across the whole world today. Why are women's surnames changed? The reason is family linkage. Surnames allow others to identify you and your family. In some cases the surname can tell others much more about you, such as your caste.

For women the linkage to family is different in comparison to men. Their identity changes with marriage. They are no longer associated with their parents, but with their husband's family. Unsurprisingly, the man's name never changes. Some cultures go as far as considering the woman to be the property of others. This was so for the Hindu Law giver, Manu, who claimed that no woman should ever be independent. Christianity considered woman to be a product of man as Eve had come from 'the rib' of Adam.

Psychologically, women have accepted these unjust rules. They are resigned to male dominance and allowed themselves to become second-class citizens. Guru ji changed all this with the revelation of the Khalsa. He gave women the opportunity to live life free of the chains of a dogmatic society. It was God's Hukam (will).

Once initiated into the Khalsa, Sikh women obtain the surname Kaur. The surname Singh (Lion) is given to men, but Kaur (princess) is reserved solely for women. This difference in names is not about inequality. Rather, Guru ji recognises the difference between men and women. As individuals we are all different from each other, but this difference does not imply inequality.

Women and men are different but remain equals. Guru ji considered women and men to be unique. He respected the sexes and, therefore, made the distinction in surnames.

When you take 'amrit' you are told to consider Guru Gobind Singh as your father and Mata Sahib Kaur as your mother. By joining the Khalsa you abandon all previous chains of linkage. You become the direct descendants of Guru Gobind Singh and Mata Sahib Kaur. You become their sons and daughters. The Khalsa becomes your family. Thus, from the day you are born to the day you die your name remains the same. You do not have to change it due to marriage.

Unfortunately, the tradition of using the 'Kaur' surname has all but disappeared amongst Sikh women. It is either dropped, in favour of caste surnames, or misused as a middle name. Guru Ji never designed it as such. Have we not belittled his concepts? Have we lost so much self-esteem that we must copy the bigoted traditions of others?

Sikh women are today demanding equal rights. Rightly so. However, they fail to realise that they themselves create inequality by not considering themselves princesses. They no longer consider themselves as daughters of the Khalsa. Why should Sikh women feel that they must change their names after marriage?


By keeping your unique and beautiful Sikh identity you are maintaining the freedom given to you by Guru ji. Ultimately, only those who keep the 'Kaur' surname can truly understand its importance. Others will make excuses about the difficulty of having such a common surname It makes paper work and identification difficult! Why make such excuses? We do not hear Patels or Smiths complaining. Mere excuses.

The importance of 'Kaur' is truly inexpressible. It is something very unique in the history of the world. Of late more and more Sikhs are dropping Singh and Kaur from their names. They probably are not aware of the Blessings of Guru Gobind Singh Ji who gifted these decorations to them.

Removing or abbreviating the decorations with S and K is to ape the western culture. In India surnames were initially introduced by the Brahmins to distinguish people of four varna as per their belief. Subsequently the British introduced the system for all those enrolled in government services.

Today, abbreviating the middle name or totally eliminating it has become a fashion. People who are settled abroad have degraded their self-respect to such levels that they feel elated to be called Garry for Gurpreet, Harry for Harpreet, Harmeet, Harbhajan, etc.

Common reason given for such an attitude is that the Westerners cannot understand, pronounce or remember the difficult Indian names. My suggestion to all such Sikhs is to introduce themselves merely as Singh and Kaur, which are very simple and short names. Even in India Sikhs are generally called by a single name of Sardar Ji. Why can't a similar procedure be adopted universally?


http://www.merinews.com/catFull.jsp?articleID=130679
 

Angel_Eyes

Done Deal !
thank u so much for sharing SP

aise layi mainu samjh nahi aundi ki gurdwareya ch apne fundamentalists ikk indira ghandi karke sari hindu kaum de khilaaf raula kyon paunde rehnde aa !
 

pps309

Prime VIP
TFS..........I read that article before...............

Today I watched this new movie "Sundri", although animated but still a must watch. It may give a sense of pride to many Kaurs..

@Angel Sis: Jehre hoye hi fundamentalist ohne ta rola pauna hi aa.
Par oh sirf ik Indira Gandhi karke nahi....oh ta
"Nehru, Indira Gandhi, Gov. Pandey, Gen. Vaidhya, Sajjan Kumar, Tytler, Rss Head, BJP head, VHP head, Bajrang dal head, Shiv Sena head, MNS head........and list continues"
enna kargujara de karnameya nu dekhde hoye kaum de heet ch rola paa loka nu sawdhan kara rahe aa. Bach ke rehan nu , dushman te dost di pashan karan nu kehnde aa...
 

Angel_Eyes

Done Deal !
TFS..........I read that article before...............

Today I watched this new movie "Sundri", although animated but still a must watch. It may give a sense of pride to many Kaurs..

@Angel Sis: Jehre hoye hi fundamentalist ohne ta rola pauna hi aa.
Par oh sirf ik Indira Gandhi karke nahi....oh ta
"Nehru, Indira Gandhi, Gov. Pandey, Gen. Vaidhya, Sajjan Kumar, Tytler, Rss Head, BJP head, VHP head, Bajrang dal head, Shiv Sena head, MNS head........and list continues"
enna kargujara de karnameya nu dekhde hoye kaum de heet ch rola paa loka nu sawdhan kara rahe aa. Bach ke rehan nu , dushman te dost di pashan karan nu kehnde aa...

hanji i understand paaji. I am not against my own religion. I have grown up as a strict sikh and thats what i will follow for rest of myself. It might be a diff thing that i cant blindly follow things, i have a tendency to question, and understand and then do it right! For me no question is a nonsense question, you question you clear your concepts and you learn. Same goes for religion too. Jinniya sikhism de katleyaam diya books sade ghare aa (parde vi han eh nahi sirf payia hi han) shayad kise library ch hi milan.

main sirf aise layi o qs puchya si. but i totally respect and agre with your question. Sorry if it bothered anyone, main ta ghare dad nu vi eho jehe sawal puchdi rehndi han.

baaki gall karoge kade ta dassungi why this came to my mind, there's a reason behind it. For now celtics are losing with lakers and if they do lose i m gonna have a bad night !
 

pps309

Prime VIP
hanji i understand paaji. I am not against my own religion. I have grown up as a strict sikh and thats what i will follow for rest of myself. It might be a diff thing that i cant blindly follow things, i have a tendency to question, and understand and then do it right! For me no question is a nonsense question, you question you clear your concepts and you learn. Same goes for religion too. Jinniya sikhism de katleyaam diya books sade ghare aa (parde vi han eh nahi sirf payia hi han) shayad kise library ch hi milan.

main sirf aise layi o qs puchya si. but i totally respect and agre with your question. Sorry if it bothered anyone, main ta ghare dad nu vi eho jehe sawal puchdi rehndi han.

baaki gall karoge kade ta dassungi why this came to my mind, there's a reason behind it. For now celtics are losing with lakers and if they do lose i m gonna have a bad night !
Bahne you are most welcome to ask the question.
Main ta thonu apni bahen samjh ke pyar naal quote karke jawan ditta.

Baki bahne I myelf can't believe blindly. I do raise lot of question, jidde karke meri larai v ho jandi meri harman pyari preet naal.
Par hun holi holi sawal de jawab mil rahe aa/samjh aa rahe aa.
 

Angel_Eyes

Done Deal !
Bahne you are most welcome to ask the question.
Main ta thonu apni bahen samjh ke pyar naal quote karke jawan ditta.

Baki bahne I myelf can't believe blindly. I do raise lot of question, jidde karke meri larai v ho jandi meri harman pyari preet naal.
Par hun holi holi sawal de jawab mil rahe aa/samjh aa rahe aa.


main vi pyar naal hi aggo keha ki paaji i agree and respect your answer. bass mara jeha clarify keeta si k main qs puchya kyon si. te eh ki gall hoyi k behan samjh ke, i thought main tuhadi behan gaigi aa.
 
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