9 Jobs Most Men Would Die For

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Terry Richardson – Photographer

You can read all about Terry’s accomplishments and accolades while checking out the Pirelloi 2010 calender but you would gladly sacrifice yourself to be him. As a final parting thought about his job, when was the last time you got to suck on the digits of the Gossip Girls? Just sayin’.

Jonathan Cutler – Brewmaster

Jonathan Cutler (middle) is the Brewmaster for Piece Brewery and Pizzeria in Chicago. Saying that Jonathan is good at his job is like saying Usain Bolt is good at running. Cutler (for his work at Piece) has earned eighteen medals (compared to Bolt’s 16) and also received the World Beer Cup Champion Small Brewery and Brewmaster Award. Jonathan is the grown-up equivalent of the Candy Man – he mixes it with love and makes the world taste good. Not only that, he drinks for free… all the time.




Quentin Tarantino – Director, Actor, Writer, Producer, et al.

Tarantino may be responsible for award winning films like Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill(s), and Inglourious Basterds, but he used to be a lowly clerk in a video store. He managed to turn his passion for film into one of the most successful Hollywood “bootstraps” story – without ever setting foot in a film school. If any of us were to blatantly display our foot fetish in the modern media like he does we would be excommunicated and disowned. With Tarantino it just becomes another part of his genius. Love him or hate him, he gets to do what he loves for a living… and get paid exorbitant sums of money for it.




Derek Spors – Ice Cream Scientologist

You know who Ben & Jerry are, but they didn’t make their boutique ice cream shop the global powerhouse it is all by their lonesome – they had help. Derek Spors was an “ice cream scientologist” whose sole job was the creation of new flavors for Ben & Jerry’s. He was often tasked with going to restaurants and ordering every dessert on the menu, taking trips to trendy new restaurants, and tasting ice cream all day. Sounds like a very horrid existence. Somehow he managed to get his creations into approximately 67% of the homes in America (Ok. The statistic is made-up, but everyone loves Ben & Jerry’s so it HAS to be a big number.) and maintain relative anonymity. Granted, he’s not going to be mauled on the street for autographs, or chased by the pap – but he manages to stay socially connected with LinkedIn and a website without having a picture of himself on the Internet. That, in and of itself, may be more impressive than eating ice cream all day. On second thought, eating ice cream all day sounds pretty damn delicious.

Bill Graham – Concert Promoter

There are only a few jobs that afford you rock star luxuries (fame, fortune, drugs) without the obvious risks (disease, selling out, one-hit-wondering) and being a concert promoter is one of them. Bill Graham just happens to be one of the most famous. He ran both Fillmores and Winterland and rubbed elbows with the likes of the Stones and the Dead. Instead of buying tickets to see a concert at an overcrowded, expensive, dilapidated venue, just call the band up and have them rock YOUR venue – V.I.P. style. Sounds like a pretty sweet gig.

Jeremy Clarkson – Motoring Journalist / Car God

When you’re Jeremy Clarkson every day is casual Friday. You can wear jeans to the office every day because the office is a decommissioned airfield and hangar. Regular journalists may get special access to events or even cool new products to test. Enjoy your new wallet because Bugatti just delivered a Veyron to Clarkson so he could race it against a jet – or a Cessna – or a McLaren F1 – or drive to 253mph. Some say he refuses to drive cars that won’t spontaneously catch on fire, and he hates the smell of hair care products because it overpowers the gasoline smell. All we know is he’s called Jezzer.

Eran Egozy & Alex Rigopulos – Video Game Developers

Eran was a geek interested in music; Alex was a musician interested in geek. They met at MIT in the Media Lab and then founded Harmonix. That is how your Friday night was born and countless millions discovered the music their parents were listening to decades before. Do they have to tell people what to do and rock out with plastic instruments on the conference room table? Yeah, they do, but they also get to play video games all day. Is there anyone that doesn’t want to play video games all day? Now that’s “star power.”

Frank Miller – Artist

Madness? MADNESS?!?!?! This. Is. A. Dream. Joooobbbbbbbbbbb. You’ve seen 300, The Dark Knight, Sin City, and probably seen something inspired by Miller’s film-noir style comics, writing, and graphic novels. He gets to set his own hours, turn down calls from Stan Lee and New Line Cinema, and leverage his words by the thousands when he turns them into pictures and movies. When asked about his inspiration, Miller had this to say – “I like to draw hot chicks, fast cars and cool guys in trench coats. So that’s what I write about.” The autobiographical graphic novel turned screenplay turned film is sure to be epic.

R. Lee Ermey – Sergeant / Gun Nut

Think Jeremy Clarkson except with guns. He transitioned from his role as a Marine Drill Instructor into starring roles in films like Full Metal Jacket and Toy Story. Now he has Lock N’ Load on the History Channel, which is basically an exploration of weapons – both primitive and modern. One week he might be shooting traditional Chinese dynasty rockets; the following he could be testing the M134D 3,000 rounds per minute Mini-Gun. Big guns, big voice, big balls – he’s not a celebrity, he’s a role model. When you fire guns and yell all day you can get away with murder…even if it involved unscrewing someone’s head and shitting down their neck. OOHRAH!
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