- Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (A life sentence!!!)
- A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
- Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
- Married life is full of excitement and frustration:
-In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
-In the second year, the women speaks and the man listens.
-In the THIRD year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOR'S listen.
- A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and his wife takes.
- A man is not complete until he marries - after that he is finished.
- There are two times a man doesn't understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage
- A successful husband is one who makes more money than his wife can spend successful woman is one who can find such a man
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife!
- A man will pay $2.00 for a $1.00 item he wants. A woman will pay $1.00 for a $2.00 item she does not want!
- When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
- Married man live longer than a single man, but married man are lot more willing to die!
- To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all !
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
- When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten- year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
- My wife told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends.
- The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave
- A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
- Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper
- I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.