tomarnidhi
Well-known member
Valentine's Day is supposed to be a time for expressing love to a significant other, but what if you're single? Here are five ways to survive the day.
Each year when St Valentine's Day dawns, the pressure is on for couples to express their feelings to each other. All around the globe, lavish bouquets are delivered, candlelit champagne dinners are enjoyed, love tokens are exchanged and sugar-coated "mots d'amour" are written inside cards bearing Cupid's beaming image.
For many women especially, it's the one day of the year when they like to feel wanted. But what if you are single and don't have a significant other? Far from making you feel on top of the world, Valentine's Day can end up being the cruellest 24 hours on your calendar. "The three black days of the year for many single people are Christmas, Valentine's Day and, for some people, their birthday," says relationship psychologist Toby Green. "At Christmas, there is the constant refrain, 'Tis the season to be jolly', but some single people don't feel jolly at all. Instead they feel stressed, depressed and lonely. Valentine's Day has the same feel and the same pressure."
As flowers, chocolates and cards descend on your friends' and co-workers' doorsteps and desks, it's easy to feel left out of the romantic celebrations. "I think most of the 'lucky' girls who receive these love tokens honestly feel relieved more than anything," says Green. "They haven't been left out, and when anyone asks them if they were sent flowers or cards, they can say 'yes'. For the 'losers' who get nothing, however, it's perceived as an assault on one's self-esteem. It can have them believing that nobody loves them." For many people, the only way to survive the day is to pretend the whole thing isn't happening, or to turn into a hopeless cynic and enjoy a good wallow in self pity.
But as a single individual, there's no reason why you can't celebrate a day of love.Green says there are many ways for singles to celebrate the universal day of love. "One is to make a list of both male and female friends and send cards to them anyway," she suggests. "This is empowering, as you have more control over what you give than what you receive."
Five ways to celebrate Valentine's Day solo
1 Do something fun with single friends
If you don't have a lover to spend Valentine's Day with, do something to mark the occasion anyway. If you have single friends, get them all together and throw a party, have the girls over to watch movies, or go out to dinner with a friend. Alternatively, arrange a trip away with a close friend or a group of friends.
2 Do something nice for yourself
In the absence of a partner, you can still do something which makes you the centre of attention on the day. Change the colour or style of your hair, or book yourself into a spa. "Another thing you can do is have a wonderful bottle of wine and a great dinner ready for yourself at the end of the day," says Green. "This celebrates that the most important person in your world loves you. And that person is you."
3 Do something nice for someone else
According to Anthony Robbins, the American motivation guru, "Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life's deepest joy: true fulfilment." So why not do something good for someone who needs it on Valentine's Day? Visit an elderly relative, mind someone's kids so they can go out with their partner, or volunteer for a community project. Doing something for others will shift your focus, as well as boost your spirits.
4 Give yourself a love token
There's no rule that says a love token can only come from a significant other. "Before Valentine's Day comes along, put something on your shopping list that would be special for you to receive, and buy it for yourself," says Green.
5 Celebrate all the love in your life
Love exists in many forms, and the love of a partner is just one of them. Consider all the other loving relationships you may have in your life and celebrate them instead. Spend Valentine's Day doing something special with your parents or a sibling, or take your dog for a walk in the park. Mr or Ms Right may not have arrived to sweep you off your feet just yet, but there are plenty of other people in your life who already love you - enjoy that.
Each year when St Valentine's Day dawns, the pressure is on for couples to express their feelings to each other. All around the globe, lavish bouquets are delivered, candlelit champagne dinners are enjoyed, love tokens are exchanged and sugar-coated "mots d'amour" are written inside cards bearing Cupid's beaming image.
For many women especially, it's the one day of the year when they like to feel wanted. But what if you are single and don't have a significant other? Far from making you feel on top of the world, Valentine's Day can end up being the cruellest 24 hours on your calendar. "The three black days of the year for many single people are Christmas, Valentine's Day and, for some people, their birthday," says relationship psychologist Toby Green. "At Christmas, there is the constant refrain, 'Tis the season to be jolly', but some single people don't feel jolly at all. Instead they feel stressed, depressed and lonely. Valentine's Day has the same feel and the same pressure."
As flowers, chocolates and cards descend on your friends' and co-workers' doorsteps and desks, it's easy to feel left out of the romantic celebrations. "I think most of the 'lucky' girls who receive these love tokens honestly feel relieved more than anything," says Green. "They haven't been left out, and when anyone asks them if they were sent flowers or cards, they can say 'yes'. For the 'losers' who get nothing, however, it's perceived as an assault on one's self-esteem. It can have them believing that nobody loves them." For many people, the only way to survive the day is to pretend the whole thing isn't happening, or to turn into a hopeless cynic and enjoy a good wallow in self pity.
But as a single individual, there's no reason why you can't celebrate a day of love.Green says there are many ways for singles to celebrate the universal day of love. "One is to make a list of both male and female friends and send cards to them anyway," she suggests. "This is empowering, as you have more control over what you give than what you receive."
Five ways to celebrate Valentine's Day solo
1 Do something fun with single friends
If you don't have a lover to spend Valentine's Day with, do something to mark the occasion anyway. If you have single friends, get them all together and throw a party, have the girls over to watch movies, or go out to dinner with a friend. Alternatively, arrange a trip away with a close friend or a group of friends.
2 Do something nice for yourself
In the absence of a partner, you can still do something which makes you the centre of attention on the day. Change the colour or style of your hair, or book yourself into a spa. "Another thing you can do is have a wonderful bottle of wine and a great dinner ready for yourself at the end of the day," says Green. "This celebrates that the most important person in your world loves you. And that person is you."
3 Do something nice for someone else
According to Anthony Robbins, the American motivation guru, "Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life's deepest joy: true fulfilment." So why not do something good for someone who needs it on Valentine's Day? Visit an elderly relative, mind someone's kids so they can go out with their partner, or volunteer for a community project. Doing something for others will shift your focus, as well as boost your spirits.
4 Give yourself a love token
There's no rule that says a love token can only come from a significant other. "Before Valentine's Day comes along, put something on your shopping list that would be special for you to receive, and buy it for yourself," says Green.
5 Celebrate all the love in your life
Love exists in many forms, and the love of a partner is just one of them. Consider all the other loving relationships you may have in your life and celebrate them instead. Spend Valentine's Day doing something special with your parents or a sibling, or take your dog for a walk in the park. Mr or Ms Right may not have arrived to sweep you off your feet just yet, but there are plenty of other people in your life who already love you - enjoy that.
