I am sorry mom

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Old 05-May-2012
Pargat Singh Guraya
I am sorry mom

As I got up today, I felt the smell of fresh coffee. I woke up to see a cup of coffee with some biscuits kept at my bedside table. This reminded me of home. The old school and college days, when mumma used to wake me up by serving a steaming cup of coffee. The aroma, the taste, so refreshing, still so fresh in my memories. A sudden thought hit me, “I was in bed, so who prepared this coffee for me? Is it a dream?” I pinched myself and that hurts, which meant I was not dreaming. I walked out of the room with the cup of coffee, in search of my roommate. I asked him whether he prepared that for me, and the answer was YES.
I was relaxed but somehow my heart wanted him to say NO. A no because I wanted to be in a belief that my mom prepared it for me. The whole scene reminded me of mom, and I missed her at that moment. I got ready for the office and all set to leave, when I noticed a lunch box kept at dinning table just for me. I thanked God saying, “finally he(cook) turned up”. I took the box and left for office.On my way, I was thinking about those days, when mumma used to cook my every meal. All her possible ways by which she could stuff her son. I could not remember any single day when I slept without food. Maggi, chips, biscuits, all junk food was banned and I always cooked maggi when I was sure that mom was not around. But now, I no more enjoy cooking maggi for myself. Almost everyday I eat it, not because I like it, but because I am left with no other option at times.
This very thought brought tears to my eyes and I decided to call up mom. I reached office and gave mom a call. The first thing she asked was, “Is everything alright?”. I was speechless. And I thought, how the time has changed. When I was with her, I used to nag her by calling after every hour when I was out with friends. In those days she never asked me what was wrong, as she knew that it was my habit. My call at this point of day to her, means that I am in trouble. Time has changed, she is still the same, its me who has changed. But I continued my conversation saying that I just called up to ask how she was, and how are things going on with her. And we continued our conversation. Then suddenly an ice-breaker came when she asked, “Don’t you have any work today?” I was shocked and asked her why she asked that, in reply to which she said, it was almost 30 minutes, I have been talking to her.
I hurriedly ended the conversation saying I have to attend a meeting. I lied to her and deep down I know, she knows that I lied to her but what else can I do? The lady with whom I used to have endless conversations, sleepless nights of gossips… has all ended. I am so occupied with my new life that I forgot to spend few hours with her.
I roll backed the time and thought of every single day that I have not spent with her. This made me realize that there was not a single day when I was busy, busy in a sense to neglect my mom. The lady who gave her whole life just for me, I could not even give her the time that she deserved. I remembered how I used to tell her about all my daily happenings and how I always failed to ask about her day. It left me all in tears. I missed her and missed her to core.
I was feeling ashamed, because it was a cup of coffee that made me realize her presence in my world.
We all are here, away from our family, living with our friends, who are our new family. We spend our lunch time with them gossiping about what’s going in and around, weekends, shopping with them and even festivals as most of us are staying too far from home. And when we call home, we are in a hurry to hang up as most of are BUSY. Are we really that busy?
Think of the lady whom we have left back at home. She still misses her son/daughter at the dining table, although most of us enjoy our meals with our friends and colleagues. She still waits all day just to hear her son/daughter’s voice at the end of the day and we, we spend our time on phone with friends
Is it really that we don’t have time or is it just we are too busy with our new life?

I apologize to all the mothers in this world and thank them for what we are today………….

Old 11-May-2012
Re: I am sorry mom

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