How To Support A Grieving Friend

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Old 31-Mar-2011
How To Support A Grieving Friend

Thousand years in painful solitude is a curse. One lives these umpteen number of painful years in a day when one loses his beloved. When one loses somebody who is close to him, one feels like the whole world and its purpose has come to an end and darkness trespasses into everyday life. All the smiling faces and the happy streets look so wicked to him. The dark shade of grief can shadow anybody’s life. It is hard to survive from the most powerful blow of an emotional crisis. You need the strong shoulder of a friend to keep you moving in those dark days and if you are a friend of the affected person, you are responsible to keep the fire of life in him/her. Read on the article to get more ideas to support a grieving a friend.

Supporting Grieving Friend

A Healthy Body Can Survive Any Crisis
A weak body never has a sound mind because human physique and mind are not two separate entities but they are intertwined together in the most complex ways. Physical needs are the most basic needs of a human being. A person affected with grief will be obviously depressed and this depression will throw all their interest for food and safety out of their mind. So it is a friend’s responsibility to makes sure that the affected person eats properly to survive through the emotional crisis he/she is going through. Taking food to them can be one of the most comforting ways to support your grieving friend.

Help Them With Their Basic Needs
Help your friend to do their other basic needs in life. You can shop things which are essential for him/her. If your friend has kids, help him/her to pick them from school. You can check the mailbox for him/her. If your friend is in a very critical stage, you can call other mutual friends for help .You can make a schedule in which you can equally share the tasks with other friends.

Understand How The Mind Works
According to basic human psychology, there are five stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance are believed to be the stages which human beings go through when they are in an emotional crisis. When a crisis happens to a normal person, the first reaction is denial. You may hear the word ‘No’ a thousand times when you informed about a tragic incident to someone. ‘No’ is the natural expression of the denial to a crisis. Then the affected will get angry to what happened and their mind would ask a thousand questions to themselves against the injustice involved in the incident happened. Then gradually, the mind will try to bargain with the reality. For example, if a wife heard news of her husband’s accident, she may think that nothing would happen to him. She would try to comfort her by saying that he will be alive. After coming to terms with the reality, the affected person will be deeply depressed. It is the fourth stage of grief which is pre-acceptance stage of the real incident and its consequences. In last stage of acceptance, the affected person gets ready to accept the reality finally. If you are a friend of the affected person, you may have to go through all these stages of his/her grief. Thus, it would be very important for you to understand him/her. Otherwise, there is high possibility for you to get upset easily with his/her behavior.

Listen Like A Wise Sage
You should encourage your friend to talk frankly but it shouldn’t become like forcing him/her to express what he/she doesn’t want to. Try to not to become emotional with your friend’s problems. You should always remember that you are there for give him/her a relief. If you get emotional or cry with her, it may multiply his/her sadness. They need a strong shoulder to cry on, a shoulder which can give him/her the power to survive.

Keep In Touch With Your Affected Friend
Even if you think your friend have overcome the crisis, you shouldn’t leave him/her alone. The methods of subconscious mind of a human being are very complex that nobody can imagine what can happen. If you bury a lot of frustration, anger and sadness in your mind, you may feel better for the time being but after sometime when given a chance your subconscious mind will vomit whatever you buried in it with multiplied effect. So even if the affected person looks so relieved, there are high possibilities for him/her to get back to the high intense depression which often lead people to suicide. So you should keep in touch with him/her always. Call him often and make sure that he/she is feeling fine.

Look For Support Groups
When your friend is coping up with the grief, he/she may not able to find a support group or a counseling centre. Help him/her to find out one for making him/her stronger for the future life and reality which he/she must face. You can even find the therapy and counseling centres on net easily.

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