How To Save A Relationship

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Old 29-Mar-2011
How To Save A Relationship

Are the “I’m right; you are wrong” and “You ignore me in public” comments proceeding towards “Somebody please get me out of here”? If this is the case, it is high time that you admit your relationship is in trouble and get on to the driving seat, if you are willing to give your relationship a second chance. After all, that constant fighting and arguing doesn’t seem to go anywhere, except closer and closer to separation. When you are just unable to convince your spouse or partner to get the things done, know that it is time to carry out things to bring back the love and trust in your relationship. Given here are some simple ways of saving your dying relationship and keeping the love going strong for years.

Saving A Relationship

Is Your Relationship Worth Saving?
Though it may be a little harsh to say, but take out time to seriously think over your relationship. Figure out the real cause of the conflict or breakup. Is it your or your partner’s fault? If the relationship is emotionally or physically abusive, it is best to breakup and start anew. In other cases, if you think that your relationship is worth saving, go ahead and do everything to save it.

Jot Down The Problems
It becomes quite difficult to mend a relationship, especially when you don’t know the problem. Sit with your partner and start out a problem-solving method known as “Plus Minus Delta”. Each of you should have a piece of paper wherein you make three columns, “plus”, “minus”, and “delta”. The plus column will include all the good things in a relationship. Similarly, the minus column will have all the negative aspects of the relationship. The delta column should include all the changes that can be made to convert your dying relationship into a healthy one.

Speak Up
Make sure that when you are communicating with your partner, avoid anger and arguments. Hold each other’s hands or cuddle up together while sharing your thoughts. Though it may sound awkward doing this since you’ve been fighting for quite sometime, but doing so can bring a great difference to your relationship.

Never interrupt your partner, when he/she is speaking, to counter or defend yourself. Remember, if he/she has mentioned something under the minus column, it is because your partner is truly hurt or worried about a bad habit of yours. Irrespective of whether or not he/she is rational, it is important to respect the feelings. After all, you would expect the same from him/her when you are talking, right!

Time For Action
After all the melodrama and speaking is done, find ways to fix the problems that can bring your relationship back on the right track. Say, for instance, communication was a problem that induced problems. Ensure that you talk to your partner for a good number of minutes every day. It doesn’t matter if you turn off the TV, radio or computer for this. After all, those silly entertaining sitcoms aren’t important than your partner!

Maintain Your New Relations
As soon you have mended for your mistakes and are trying to retain your new relationship, make sure that you do not commit the same faults, as they would trigger the same problem. Also, apologize for any newly committed errors, to be on a safer side. Avoid things that can hurt your partner’s feelings or sentiments. If you do so, you know your next step, right!

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