Codependent Relationships

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Old 29-Mar-2011
Codependent Relationships

Some interpret codependency as unhealthy as it robs a person of their individuality. Everybody is entitled to freedom of expression, the freedom to be his/her own self. However, certain individuals arenít capable of living on their own. They rely heavily on the comfort, warmth and assistance of another being to survive the challenge that life is. You earnestly lend a hand in the hope that this turmoil is just a phase. Overtime, you recognize that there is no turning back and you love bossing over somebody else! You control and manipulate every move of the disturbed soul, who still seems to be suffering from a pathological condition. Codependent individuals eventually feel an indefatigable compulsion to constantly look after the other one in the relationship. Sometimes, to fulfill the incorrigible demands of the self-destructive codependent person, a person has to sacrifice his/her own needs. It is, by all means, weakness magnified on part of the codependent person. Though you may like playing the role of a powerhouse initially, know that with time, this would get onto your nerves, but by then, it would be too late to get out of the relationship. To dwell on and investigate the deeper aspects of a codependent relationship, it is best to study the causes, symptoms and ways to combat codependency.

Signs Of Codependent Relationship

  • The approval of the codependent is essential for making every decision, without which it just wonít be implemented!
  • Constant state of denial! They feel guilty and ashamed of their codependency.
  • They keep their distance from emotional problems, as they are unable to handle them!
  • A codependent individual takes special interest in mending problems of other needy people and tends to obsessed about fixing their issues.
  • It is very rare or never that they express themselves or convey their true feelings.
  • They are far too conscious of what the other person is thinking! They simultaneously suffer from very low self-esteem and plummeting confidence.
  • Perpetual vigilance and excessive caretaking confirms codependency in a relationship.
  • Stress-related health problems are also a common symptom.

Causes Of Codependency

A codependent relationship is most likely to develop right from childhood. We are all born helpless and are inevitably dependent on our parents. Since they brought us into this world, it becomes their responsibility to provide us with our necessities. A fine degree of independence evolves in due course of time for most children. However, certain kids are too overprotected by their parents and are hence, become too incompetent to burst out of their respective cocoons. They are scared of the world outside and decide to cling to their codependent partner (either a close family member or guardian). Codependency also arises post a traumatic event after which people have incurable breakdowns and resort to substance abuse. The codependent caretaker is desperate for attention and seeks solace in the fact that he/she is needed by the traumatized person.

Overcoming Codependent Relationships
Snapping out of codependency is crucial to both parties of the relationship before irreparable damage has been made. The recovery process begins with acceptance. However, a codependent individual will continue to deny the fact. Therefore, counseling from a professional psychologist is a wise recommendation. Therapy as an individual or group can reap tremendous benefits in the long run. Therapists generally advise the codependents to investigate their past and reach a cathartic standstill. Achieve closure and move on. As parents, it is crucial to encourage your children to venture into the wild by themselves and fend for themselves. A healthy development and a strong self esteem foster stability in an individualís life!

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