The construction worker!
A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated."
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean over the table."
The construction worker leans over the table, then the doctor whacks him on the Butt with a baseball bat, CRACK... and sends him into the bathroom.
He comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great. What should I do to prevent constipation in the future?"
The doctor says, "Stop wiping with quick setting cement bags."