Interview layi Tips ;)

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Old 09-May-2008
Bhaarat ki Mitti
Interview layi Tips ;)

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Candidate: I am Rameshwar Kulkarni. I did my Tele communication engineering from BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology.

Int: BabanRao Dhole-Patil Institute of Technology? I had never heard of this college before!

Candi: Great! Even I had not heard of it before getting an admission into it. What happened is - due to cricket worldcup I scored badly in 12th.I was getting a paid seat in a good college. But my father said (I prefer to call him 'baap') - "I can not invest so much of money". The baap actually said - "I will never waste so much of money on you"). So I had to join this college. Frankly speaking this name - BabanRao Dhole-Patil, can at the most be related to a Shetaki Mahavidyalaya hehehe...

Int: ok, ok. It seems you have taken 6 years to complete your engineering.

Cand: Actually I tried my best to finish it in 4 years. But you know, these cricket matches and football worldcup, and tennis tournaments.. It is difficult to concentrate.. So I flunked in 2nd and 3rd year. So in all I took 4 + 2 = 7 years.

Int: But 4+2 is 6.

Cand: Oh, is it? You know I always had KT in ! maths. But I will try to keep this in mind. 4+2 is 6, good, thanks. These cricket matches really affect exams a lot. I think they should ban it.

Int: Good to know that you want cricket matches to be banned.

Can: No, no.. I am talking about Exams!!

Int: Ok, What is your biggest achievement in life?

Can: Obviously, completing my Engineering. My mom never thought I would complete it. In fact, when i flunked in 3rd year, she was looking for a job for me in BEST through some relative.

Int: Do you have any plans of higher study?

Can: he he he.. Are you kidding? Completing 'lower' education itself was so much of pain! !!

Int: Let's talk about technical stuff. On which platforms have you worked?

Can: Well, I work at SEEPZ, so you can say Andheri is my current platform. Earlier I was at Vashi center. So Vashi was my platform then. As You can see I have experience of different platforms!

Int: And which languages have you used?

Can: Marathi, Hindi, English. By the way, I can keep quiet in German, French, Russian and many other languages he he he...

Int: Why VC is better than VB?

Can: It is a commom sense - C comes after B. So VC is a higher version than VB. I heard very soon they are coming up with a new language VD!

Int: Do you know anything about Assembly Language?

Can: Well, I have not heard of it. But I guess, this is the language our ministers and MP's use in assembly.

Int: What is your general project experience?

Can: My general experience about projects is - most of the times they are in pipeline!

Int: Can you tell me about your current job?

Can: Sure, Currently I am working for Bata Infotech ltd. Since joining BIL, I am on Bench. Before joining BIL, I used to think that Bench was another software like Windows he he he..

Int: Do you have any project management experience?

Can: No, but I guess it shouldn't be difficult. I know Word and
Excel.I can talk a lot. I know how to dial for International phone call and use speaker facility. And very important - I know few words like -'Showstoppers' ,'hotfixes', 'SEICMM','quality', 'version control', 'deadlines' , 'Customer Satisfaction' etc. Also I can blame others for my mistakes!

Int: What are your expectations from our company?

Can: Not much.

1. I should at least get 50,000 in hand.

2. I would like to work on a live EJB project. But it should not have deadlines. I personally feel that pressure affects natural talent.

3. I believe in flexi-timings.

4. Dress code is against basic freedom, so I would like to wear t-shirt and jeans.

5. We must have sat-sun off. I will suggest wed off also, so as to avoid breakdown due to overwork.

6. I would like to go abroad 3 times a year on short term (preferably 1-2 months) assignments. Personally I prefer US, Australia and Europe. But considering the fact that there is a worldcup in West Indies in 2007, I don't mind going there in that period.As you can see I ammodest and don't have many expectations. So can I assume my selection?

Int: he he he ha ha ha. Thanks for! your interest in our organization. In fact I was never entertained so much before. I request you not to apply in our organization for next 100 years. After that we might consider you!!

The candidate still doesn't know why he was not selected.

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