Hundoo Jokes

1. Ramoo and Haramoo were sitting on a tree and Ramoo was singing a song. After 4 songs Ramoo hung himself upside down and started singing again.
   Haramoo : Ramoo what is the matter with you?Why are you hanging upside down.
   Ramoo : I am singing the B side.
2. Ramoo was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass). Ramoo thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala gadha."(One who wrote it is an ass).
3. Hindoo: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
   Man: "It's 3:15."
   Hindoo: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
4. Examination time, One Hindoo was appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He removes shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on."Arey,I am only following the instructions yaar," he says," it says here, "Answer the following questions in brief".
5. Haramoo was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence."They should not put up such misleading notices, "said Haramoo ." It said , FINE FOR PARKING HERE."
6. LONG FLIGHT: Hindoo calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Haridwar?" " Just a sec," comes an answer "Thank you." says the Hindoo and hangs up!
7. Ram tells his gf, "come home tomorrow, no one will b at home."
   When she goes the next day to his home.......
   There was NO ONE at home
8. COLOR TV : Hindoo is buying a TV.
   "Do you have color TVs?"
   "Sure."
   "Give me a green one, please."
9. Ramoo : 'Look Haramoo, what type of glasses they have made. The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it ?'
   Haramoo : 'Yes, that's funny. And even if you make a hole at the top, how will
   the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open?'
10. Hindoos Hari and Ram are in a railway station. Hari asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to Haridwar?" "No,"answers the Railway man. "Can I?" asks Ram .
11. Ramoo used to work in a saw-mill. He was in hospital after he lost his arm in an accident. Haramoo was visiting him in the hospital.
    Haramoo: "It was really bad that you lost your hand. However thank bhagwan Ram that it was your left hand, since you are right handed."
    Ramoo: "It is also because of my quick thinking. Actually it was the right hand which was going to be caught in the machine. Then I realised that I am right handed and so switched hands just in time!
12. Once Ramoo called Haramoo for a hearty lunch. Haramoo arrived promptly on time and was surprised to see the door locked. Then he saw a note which said,'' Kaise ullu banaya!''Haramoo was terribly furious, therefore thinking himself to be smart stuck a note saying, '' Main to aya hi nahein'
13. Hindoo ( to doctor ) : 'Doctor, I have a problem.'
    Doctor : 'What's your problem?'
    Hindoo : 'I keep forgetting things.'
    Doctor : 'Since when do you have this problem?'
    Hindoo : 'What problem?'
14. This guy was driving in a car with Ramoo . He told him to stick his head out the window and see if the blinker worked. Ramoo stuck her head out and said, Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes..
15. Haramoo and Ramoo buy one race horse each after learning about big money in racing.
    Says Haramoo, "How do we identify which horse is mine and which one is yours?" Ramoo replies,"I will cut the tail of my horse and so the horse without a tail will be mine and the one with a tail will be yours." So they cut the tail of the horse.But in the night their naughty kids cut the tail of the other horse too. And the next day Haramoo is worried and says, "I will cut one of the ears of my horse so the horse with one ear will be mine and the other one will be yours." The next night the kids cut the other horses ears too. And so it goes on until the horses lost their ears, eyes, broken noses etc. And in the end both horses were left only with bare legs and were just barely living. Both Ramoo and Haramoo were frustrated. At last Haramoo says, "BAHUT HO GAYA. SAFED WALA GHORA MERA, KALA WALA TERA
16. A Hindoo, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for the office : Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa' .. One day his wife fed up of this answered : ' Bye Bye,Doo Bacchon Ke Baap'.
    That ended the husband's witticisms.
17. Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights. Hindoo was also experiencing the same every time he tries to sleep, one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleepwith a sound "guooonn, guooonn." He gets very irritated.He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja achchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep in his hands. so he goes near it and says "Guoooonnnnn, Guoooonnnnn."
18. Count the chickens: Hindoos Hari and Ram walked toward each other on a country road. Hari carried a burlap bag over his shoulder."Aray Bhai," Ram drawled, "what's in the bag?""Chickens," was the reply. "If I guess how many, can I have one?" "Yes,You can have both of them." "OK, Five, Right?"
19. Ramoo accidentally locked his keys inside his car. He called a mechanic - Haramoo who arrived and said, "Give me ten minutes and I'll have everything worked out."Ramoo went back inside his house and came back after a few minutes. He found Haramoo working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As Ramoo watched from the passengers side, he instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," Ramoo announced to the mechanic, "Its open!"
    "I know," answered Haramoo. "I already opened that side."
20. Haramoo bought a brand new maruti and decided to drive down from Haridwar to Varanasi to meet his friend.He reached Varanasi in a few hours. After spending a few days there he decided to return and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn't reach Haridwar that evening and not even the next day.When he finally reached home on the third day his distraught mother ran out hugged him an asked,"Aray beta kya hua??" Haramoo got out tired and said, "Aray Maruti wale ghor boorbak hain, aage janne ke leye chaar gear banaate hain aur peeche jane ke leye sirf ek!"
21. A Hindoo, a Muslim, a sikh and an American were flying. Suddenly the plane's engine goes bad. So everybody is advised to jump. But they realise that there are no parachutes on the plane.
    Hindoo being little bold thinks "saala marna to hai, why not try something". He unties his Dhoti and holds the ends, making it like a Parachute, and jumps out. Luckily the idea works and he floats down like on a parachute. Seeing this, sikh also opens his kurta and does the same, he also starts floating.
    Now Muslim also removes his turban and does the same and he too starts floating. Now comes American's turn. Poor chap is wearing torn Bermudas and a tattered T-shirt. Anyway he also removes them ties everything up and jumps. But it does not hold and he starts falling very quickly. On the way to the ground he passes the Muslim, who says "Allah tumhari khair kare". Another 1000 feet and he passes the sikh who says "rab tenu bachaye". Falling rapidly, he quickly passes the Hindoo. Hindoo says "accha yeh baat hai.....race lagani hai, le phir"......... and leaves the dhoti.
22. Ramoo and Haramoo rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One day they had a huge haul of 30 fishes.Ramoo said to Haramoo, "Theres lots of fish here! Mark this spot so that we can come here tomorrow."The next day when they were driving to rent the boat, Ramoo asked Haramoo, "Did you mark that spot?" Haramoo replied, "Yeah, I put a big X on the bottom of the
    boat!"Ramoo said, "You fool! What if we dont get that same boat today!?!?"
23. Bra-Panties: A British lady is window shopping in Banaras. Suddenly she realizes she is late for an appointment. She is not wearing a watch so she sees a small shop on the roadside, goes to the shop and asks in very British accent to the Hindoo owner.. What's the time??
    The Hindoo is a very patriotic man and hates foreigners and their English accent while speaking ... replies back in the same accent... Bra-panties!! Confused the lady asks again. No! No! What's the time?? The Hindoo again answers back.. Bra-panties!! Bra-panties!!Seeing the confusion going between the two, another Hindoo comes to the rescue of the lady and says.... Aray panditji tum samajh nahin paaye!! Kanyaa aapse samay pooch rahi hai!! The angry Hindoo shots back at him .. Tow main bhi to ise time hee bataa raha hun baarah penthis (12:35)
24. Two Hindoos were in conversation on the beach
    Hindoo 1 : Bhai sahab , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ?
    Hindoo 2 : Tumhe nahe pata ?
    Hindoo 1 : Nahe pata.
    Hindoo 2 : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach kahete hai ..
25. One day two Hindoos met and started chatting. The main topic of the conversation was about how others view Hindoos. They felt that Hindoos are being ridiculed too much by others. They wanted to teach others a good lesson. Soon they had a plan for that. Said one Hindoo to the other, "We two will go to beach tomorrow morning. We should keep on staring at the sea. People in anxiety will crowd behind us but we should not turn to see them. Finally in the night or so we will turn and say "Hey Fools! What you think of Hindoos?". That will be a good lesson. What do you feel?". The other one was simply overwhelmed. He said "that's really real!" and hugged him. Next day the two Hindoos went to the beach and did according to the plan. Soon they heard murmuring behind them and were happy. Time passed by and the noise from behind was increasing more. The two smiled at each other but didn't turn. It became late night and the Hindoos decided to turn to see the crowd. The Hindoos were shocked not because the crowd was more than expected BUT ALL IN THE CROWD WERE HINDOOS!!!
26. HINDOO PROFESSOR: Hindoo was very keen on doing his Ph.D. He was in search of a subject on which no one did any research before! As he was thinking over it, he found a cockroach on the table in front of him. He decided instantly to do a research on the cockroach. He picked the cockroach and put it in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The cockroach ran. He pulled out one leg of the cockroach, put it again in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The cockroach ran. He pulled one more leg of the cockroach, put it again in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The cockroach ran. This way the cockroach tried to run even when it had just one leg. He pulled last leg of the cockroach, put it again in the centre of the table and said: "Run". The cockroach could not! Our Professor was satisfied with his study and started writing his thesis: "When you pull out all the legs of a roach, it cannot hear anymore".
27. Bus Tickets : Once Haramoo was going by Bus. He took two tickets.
    Conductor: Why do you want 2 tickets when 1 is sufficient for you.
    Haramoo: If I loose the 1st one then I will be having this 2nd one.
    Conductor: What if you loose that 2nd one two?
    Haramoo: No problemStill I will be in safer side, b'coz I am having my Bus Pass
28. The collector asked Haramoo for his rail ticket. Haramoo searched his pockets but could not find it. 'Never mind,' reassured the collector, ' I will take your word
    that you bought your ticket.' That is very kind of you,' replied Haramoo , 'but if I don't find it, I want to know where to get off.
29. At Indo-Pak War : Once in the Indo Pakistan war, Pakistan was fighting fiercely and capturing everything in sight. A hindoo camp called Mandir hide out was crucial to defend from the pakistanis as it contained all the defence secrets. The Pakistani forces surrounded the base and the hondoos had thought that they had lost the battle but, suddenly out of the bushes jumps Cptn.Ramoo wearing a Maachar dani!(mosquito net) He Pulls out his AK-47 rifle and fires like mad. The Pakistanis run off quickly. The next day ramoo gets a medal. His freinds ask him "Yaar thu maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha?" Ramoo replies "Maachar daani itni patli hote hain ki agarmaachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan se ghussenghi? In the following war Ramoo retires and his son Haramoo joins the army. Pakistanis are again surrounding the Mandir camp hideout, the hindoos again think they've lost the war but out of the bushes erupts haramoo wearning nothing he tries do shoo away the Pakistanis like his father did but instead gets shot. In the hospital his friends tell him "aare yaar, therre bap me tho itni akal thi ki vo maachar daani pehin ke gaya tha, aur tu nunga chalegaya" haramoo replies "Aare yaar main tho ODOMOS laga ke gaya tha"!
30. Tyson and Hindoo : One rainy day Hindoo was travelling by his new FERRARI car. He was not a very good driver and so, did not have complete control on it. Mike tyson was also riding his bike on the same road . At a speed breaker Hindoo's car came in contact with tyson's bike . Tyson got very angry.He dragged Hindoo out of the car and threw him a few yards away from the car. Tyson then drew a small circle around Hindoo and shouted " Hey !! It's not easy for you to damage my bike and get away . Now i will be thrashing your car. You should stay inside this circle and watch me smash your car. If you come out of the circle, I will kill you immediately".Then tyson turned towards the car and he smashad its side indicators. Then he looked at Hindoo . Hindoo looked at tyson sarcastically. Tyson's anger grew and he smashed the window panes and then again looked at Hindoo. Hindoo grinned at tyson. Tyson was confused. Tyson could now not at all control his anger and he broke the side doors and tore away the seats of the car. Then he again looked at Hindoo. Hindoo was laughing so hard that he could hardly stand. This time Tyson came to Hindoo and he told " oh ! what is this ? I am spoiling your expensive car and you are so happy about it ?" Hindoo replied " Every time you turned towards the car I was out of the circle and you did not notice it . I have fooled you. You are a fool .."

pc_game_lover2004 said:

sorry 22 per boring ne

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