jimmi
Elite
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
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some more .. although they didnt make it to the top but , they r worth a laugh!!
1
Two men having a drink in a bar and discussing the best way to die.
"Yes" says one " I'd want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandad.
Not screaming and shrieking in terror like his passengers
2
A Sardar finished his examination in English Grammar. When his friend asked him how had he fared, the Sardar replied:"It was very easy, except for one. I had to write the past tense of "think". I just could not recall, I thought and thought and then answered "thunk" !!
3
george, saddam and laloo died and went to hell. missing their loved ones dearly, they asked lucifer if they could call home. lucifer agreed saying that of course they could and would be charged at the regular STD/IST rates, so they all made their calls.
george and saddam complained bitterly when presented their bills of $24,000 and $21,500 respectively after noting that laloo's was only 1rp 50p. lucifer replied that this was indeed correct as they were charged the normal long distance rates, but Patna was a local call.
4
A tourist, who doesn’t know that India is a left lane driving country, was driving his car on the right lane.
Soon an announcement came from the city traffic police on the FM radio -“ Those who are driving through the highway be careful. One car is reported to be moving against the lane. We could not stop the car so farâ€
“Just one..?? Hundreds and hundreds of cars are moving against the lane. You cant stop all of them that easily!!†exclaimed the driver to his car radio.
5
A priest and Indian bus driver died and reached the Saint Peter’s office to get the pass to the heaven/hell. The driver was sent to heaven and the priest to hell. The priest questioned the logic.
“Well. For all these years when you have been preaching people were sleeping. When he was driving they were praying†replied Saint Peter.
