A 50-year old lady had a heart attack and was rushed to hospital. As she was on the operating table, she had a near-death experience and saw God. She asked Him if her time was indeed up. God replied "no, you still have 35 years, 8 months and 10 days to live!"
Obviously delighted with this news, she decided that whilst she was in hospital, she would have a tummy tuck, breast implants, a face lift, liposuction and other assorted plastic surgeries. She also had a beautician come in and restyle her hair, and whiten her teeth.
After all these operations she was released from hospital, but as she walked out the front door, she was run over by an ambulance and killed. When she arrived in Heaven she angrily asked God "I thought I had another 35 years, 8 months and 10 days to go. Why didn't you make the ambulance miss me?".
God replied "Sorry, I did not recognise you."