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Chuck Norris * Angreja da Rajinikanth *
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Jesus can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim in land.
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
When Chuck Norris steps in water he doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... 3 times
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, instead of pushing himself up, he pushes the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can kill 2 stones with one Bird
Dinosaurs wasn't extinct because of the meteor, Chuck Norris killed them
Chuck Norris is the only person who can punch you in the back of the face
When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night. He checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
Chuck norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today known as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
"The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked one of the
corners off."
"When Chuck Norris was born the only person who cried was the doctor. Don't slap Chuck Norris."
"Chuck norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage."
Chuck Norris doesnt hurt anyone for he is not real...its the idea of a chuck norris that hurts them
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer . close enough to drop them with one round
house kick to the face
Ozzy osbourne bites heads of bats . Chuck Norris bites heads of sharks
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim through dry land.
once chuck norris played russian roullete with a fully loaded gun and won
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
Chuck Norris does not wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris could go back in time kill his grandpa, and still survive, not even time itself can defeat
Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris never goes to the dentist because his teeth are unbreakable. His enemies never go to the
dentist because they have no teeth
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in
time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red
Bull.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away
from death.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris is so smelly, when he jumps into water, water jumps out.
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because killing a man with a knife was too easy.
Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light off when he goes to sleep not because he is afraid of dark but
because the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
If you spell Chuck Norris in scrabble, you win.forever.
Chuck Norris once ate a bottle of sleeping pills.They made him blink.
If at first you don't succeed, then your not Chuck Norris.
chuck norris can beat joey jordison (slipknot) in the drums...... with a plastic spoon and an empty can
of soda
in the spoon killer movie they didnt use chuck norris as an actor......... he would kill the guy with
the spoon at the half of the first hit
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, Chuck Norris prefers to kill in
the dark.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? ...All of it!
When Google don't know somthing, he ask Chuck Norris
At school, the professor should raise their hand to talk to Chuck Norris.
Hitler committed suicide because someone said that Chuck Norris was a Jew.
Chuck Norris knows the size of the internet.
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Chuck Norris
finds it delicious.
Chuck Norris tears cure cancer...too bad he never cried.
The first roundhouse kick Chuck Norris ever performed was called "The Big Bang"...and some say his last
one will be called "The Armaggedon".
there's only one page on wikipedia that doesn't have an edit button, guess what it's chuck norris's
If you had 5 dollars and Chuck Norris had 5 dollars, Chuck Norris would have more money than you.
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.
There are no steriods in baseball. Only players Chuck Norris has breathed on.
Chuck Norris once had a street named after him. But the name removed at once, because nobody crosses
Chuck Norris, and lives
Chuck Norris has Madame Tussauds's statue at his house
Chuck Norris email id is gmail@chucknorris.com
Chuck Norris can produce fire by thinking about rubbing hands.
Chuck Norris can pop a wheelie on a unicycle
Chuck norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh!t out of it
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero
"One night Chuck Norris was mumbling some random numbers - Today they are know as LOG TABLE"
Chuck Norris cannot watch paint dry - the paint's so scared it keeps wetting itself
Chuck Norris keeps ChubChubbs for pets
There are no solar flares, it's just sunlight glinting off Chuck Norris' teeth
In the game of life, there are winners and losers, but Chuck Norris is the referee
Chuck Norris can delete the recycle bin!
Light moves at the speed of speed of Chuck Norris!
at first there was only chuck norris and nothing, until chuck norris gave a roundhouse kick to nothing
and told it to get a job
Chuck Norris found page 404.
Chuck Norris CAN eat soup with a fork
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck norris doesn't turn on the shower he looks at it untill it crys
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
An eclipse is just the suns attempt to hide from Chuck Norris
if Chuck Norris had performed in 300, the film would be called 1.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Chuck Norris Law: Anything that can go wrong is Murphy's fault.
chuck norris can run you over with a parked car
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris was a suicide bomber... 45 times!
Chuck Norris can clean the wax from he's ears, with the nails from his feet, while doing vertical push-
ups!
Chuck Norris once made arm wrestling with superman and the loser had to wear the underpants on top of
his pants... GUESS WHO WON!
Chuck Norris tells a GPS which way to go.
They originally asked Chuck Norris to play Neo in the Matrix.
But he would only have to roundhouse kick one agent to kill the whole Matrix.
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