A letter to a girl friend ..who is getting Married
Hey…hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmm sorry Hai,
Don`t know what to address you with friend, dear, darling, sweety…
I know that you are good, fine and healthy (you showed your health certificate recently). I am also good but could have been better. Some heart problem has started. Ok you forget it.
Embarrassed to hear that you are getting married to an exported Indian (now in US) guy. But still India is GREATTT!!!. You could`ve looked for an Indian guy like me. Ok forget it.
But, It`s hard to digest for me (so having medicine for proper digestion) and I feel depressed that why are you not marrying me? I spent so much of useful and useless time with you. I can never forget our yesteryear`s life in near and far future. Anyway, I wish you many many happy returns of your future.
I heard that the guy looks handsome and nicely paid. I too earn a lot here in India . I am going to gym regularly and facial wash often (you know that) to look smart. You were appreciating my bulging biceps (hope you haven`t forgotten). I think am comparably looking smarter than that guy except that I don't have French beard as am comfortable with Indian beard. Ok you forget it.
You told that he has invested on shares. But, I have invested on you (ice creams, chocolates, movies, trips, pizza, disco, recharge your sim, gifts, your scooty tires, etc.) without expecting any returns. But I got your friendly love and caring which is very precious to me. It`s Ok forget it.
He is from very good family background seems. I am not from bad family. My family is world famous in my area. Ok forget it.
You told me that he don`t have any girl friends. I don't believe this but still without a girl friend how can he realize the essence of love? See at least I have one, that's you. Ok forget it da.
I am wondering what more in him? What less in me? But still I wish you happy married life forever. Let him keep you happy always else I feel like killing him in my dreams. please don`t tell him about this, otherwise he may kill me.
My sincere request: If you are blessed with a baby boy after your marriage (5-6years)you keep my name to your kid and love him a lot. If you are booned with a baby girl keep my wife name to your kid (I`ll inform her name once I get married).
My gentle reminder: Please don't tell him about our so called friendship, because he may be possessive and your marriage may breakup. You know I was very protective towards you, never possessive. Ok you forget all those.
Don`t invite me for your marriage. I will not come and create any nuisance there. You send me your marriage DVD, I will watch alone in a dark room silently with my broken (damaged) heart. I`m handing you to your husband with my heavy heart (my heart weighs in pounds which is costlier than US$dollars).
Before your marriage: I am your friend, guide, care taker, joker, protector, slave, transporter, listener (to your junk words), everything for you.
After your marriage: I am a big problem for your life… Error! Filename not specified.
I recommend: Don`t forget to forget me after your marriage. Even though it's difficult for me to forget you. Somehow I will convince myself.
I will wait for 2-3 years after your marriage to become normal. I will marry to a girl my parents show me without uttering a single word.
Please ignore my grammatical bugs (you know am not rich in English language-please adjust).
Then what else? I will tell you more, you see, you know,… no, it's Ok forget me… bye…
Ur`s… sorry not Your`s,
What can I say, boy friend, friend, am confused… forget da… take care lifelong… Error! Filename not specified.
(Destroy this letter after you read otherwise it may create problem for you)