importance of KAUR


KAUR

Have you ever thought why Guru Ji, Guru Gobind Singh, gave the Kaur surname to Sikh women? Why did he not accept the status quo and keep the tradition of the woman's surname being determined by her family's name? What was Guru Ji trying to achieve by calling the Sikh woman "A Princess" (literal meaning of Kaur)?
To try to understand the possible reasons behind Guru Ji's decision, we need to look at the situation at the time in different cultures. In Indian society, the brides first and last name was often changed after her marriage. This still happens today. However, this tradition of name changing does not occur just in India. It is a phenomenon, which occurs across the whole world today.
Why are women's surnames changed? The reason is family linkage. Surnames allow others to identify you and your family. In some cases the surname can tell others much more about you, such as your caste. For women the linkage to family is different in comparison to men. Their identity changes with marriage. They are no longer associated with their parents, but with their Husband's family. Unsurprisingly, the man's name never changes. Some cultures go as far as considering the woman to be the property of others. This was so for the Hindu Law giver, Manu, who claimed that no woman should ever be independent. Christianity considered woman to be a product of man as Eve had come from "the rib" of Adam. Psychologically, women have accepted these unjust rules. They have resigned to male dominance and allowed themselves to become second-class citizens. Guru A changed all this with the revelation of the Khalsa. He gave women the opportunity to live life free of the chains of a dogmatic society. It was God's Hukam (will).

Once initiated into the Khalsa, Sikh women obtain the surname Kaur. The surname Singh (Lion) is given to men, but Kaur (princess) is reserved solely for women. This difference in names is not about inequality. Rather, Guru ji recognises the difference between men and women. As individuals we are all different from each other, but this difference does not imply inequality.
Women and men are different but remain equals. Guru j 1 considered women and men to be unique. He respected the sexes and, therefore, made the distinction in surnames.

When you take amrit you are told to consider Guru Gobind Singh as your father and Mata Sahib Kaur as your mother. By joining the Khalsa you abandon all previous chains of linkage. You become the direct descendants of Guru Gobind Singh and Mata Sahib Kaur. You become their daughters. The Khalsa becomes your family. Thus, from the day you are born to the day you die your name remains the same. You do not have to change it due to marriage. Unfortunately, the tradition of using the "Kaur" surname has all but disappeared amongst Sikh women. It is either dropped, in favour of caste surnames, or misused as a middle name. Guru Ji never designed it as such. Have we not belittled his concepts? Have we lost so much self-esteem that we must copy the bigoted traditions of others?

Sikh women are today demanding equal rights. Rightly so. However, they fail to realise that they themselves create inequality by not considering themselves princesses. They no longer consider themselves as daughters of the Khalsa. Why should Sikh women feel that they must change their names after marriage? This is not part of the Sikh tradition. It belongs to others. Leave it to them. It has nothing to do with the Sikhs, Vaheguru gave us these names. Real freedom can only be found ail Sikhi Real freedom is the freedom ones feels from within, and not the show of freedom we pretend to have m the outside world.

By keeping your unique and beautiful Sikh identity you are maintaining the freedom given to you by Guru ji Ultimately, only those who keep the "Kaur" surname can truly understand its importance. Others will make excuses about the difficulty of having such a common surname It makes paper work and identification difficult! Why make such excuses? We do not hear Patels or Smiths complaining. Mere excuses.

The importance of "Kaur" is truly inexpressible. It is something very unique in the history of the world
 

J@tti

..Majajan..
Thanks for the informative post.

I kept my last name, which is not 'Kaur', after my wedding. However, I do plan to change it. Whether I change it or I decide not to change it - it does not change me as a person. And I don't believe it reflects my level of independence. It was nothing to do with 'inequality'. Although it is not very popular, some men choose to change their last names.

It's matter of having a choice. When you don't have a choice (whether it is the ability to not change your last name or having no choice but to change your last name) - that's when your freedom is curbed.
 
Nice post....Hope that educates some people...who have it twisted.

P.S - Our Guru's set a precedent of "equality" when they erased the distincitions associated with high caste last names by giving all the sikhs common last names.

The tenth guru of Sikhs, Guru Gobind Singh ji, made it mandatory for Sikh females to use the name Kaur and for Sikh males to use the name Singh, when he administered Amrit (baptism) to both males and female Sikhs. All female Sikhs were asked to use the name Kaur after their forename and males were to use the name Singh. This custom further confirmed the equality of both genders as was the tradition set by the founder of Sikhism, Guru Nanak.

Guru Gobind Singh said,

"You are my beloved, my daughters. You must be respected. How can this world be without you?".
"You don’t have to take anybody else's name. You are an individual, you are the equivalent of a prince, and you keep Kaur as your given name.

Kaur provides Sikh women with a status equal to all men. This was also intended to reduce the prejudice created by caste-typing based on the family name. Prejudice based on caste was still rampant during Guru Gobind's time (17th century). This particularly affected women who were expected to take their husband's family name upon marriage.
 

pps309

Prime VIP
Appa nu kisse nu force nahi karna chaeeda.

Je appa kisse nu force karde aa ta ho sakda ke oh last name kaur rakh lave but in reality she might not have even a single sikh virtue.

Also, we should not judge by the surname, you might see many non-Kaur surname girls which have more qualities or traits of a sikh than the girls with kaur surname.

Rest, I belive that loving the Guru Sahib do motivate a sikh to keep his/her last name as Singh/Kaur. Loving someone don't require a reason to do what he asks for. I mean a person tries to do as much as posiible for his/her lover.
I personally believe a common last name bring the sense of brotherhood.
 

pps309

Prime VIP
bai ji hun Kaur nu dari te pagga wale munde pasand kyu nahi aunde...kyu??:( that's truth bitter truth!!!!

Mundeya nu kinniya keski waliya ya amritdhari unshaved hairs wali kudiya pasand aaundiya??

Kisse ek nu blame karna bohat soukha.
I guess hun trend hi kuch edda da chal paya te assi osse harr ch rurdi ja rahe aa.
 
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