Charlie Sheen bombs in New York
Charlie Sheen's My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option show on Friday in New York was forgettable, other than the sting for ticket holders who paid full price to see it.
His learning curve climb has doubtless raised him a few notches since his heroically disastrous opening night in Detroit a week ago — by all reports, the sort of show that is so awful that its witnesses can proudly boast of having been there.
Sheen — sporting a New York Yankees jersey and cap — joined affable interviewer Joey Scoleri on stage with no warm-up act or other delaying tactic. In a flash, a chain-smoking Sheen was sharing colourful stories, most of them centred on women, drugs and money, most of them self-worshipping, and all of them laced liberally with F-bomb modifiers.
Cued with questions from sidekick Scoleri, Sheen's bad-boy-and-loving-it schtick found a receptive audience.
They hailed his stated motivation as an actor: "Thousands of chicks and tons of cash."
But attention and material (the crowd's and Sheen's) were wearing thin by the time Scoleri asked one question too many about Sheen's film career.
"Borrring," someone called out.
To his credit, Sheen was unfazed by the heckling, though he wondered aloud why people don't plan better. Like, plan to "drink less and not yell at the guy you've been waiting six weeks to see".
At the 45-minute mark, Sheen and Scoleri took a break while his video, Charlie Sheen Unedited, (already viewed on YouTube more than 1.3 million times) unreeled.
Then talk finally turned to Two and a Half Men. As if he had never thought to mention it before, Sheen noted that he hadn't quit the CBS sitcom but was fired from it.
And, of course, he wants to come back to it. Why wouldn't he? It's "the greatest sitcom ever — EVER," he explained. One of his bucket list dreams: "I want to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge wearing a parachute," Sheen said above the uproar. "I'm not opening it, just wearing it. I'll live."